Sounds good, but can I take it as a distro?

Ben Patterson

The Chicago Tribune just revealed that almost 50 percent of Northwestern’s grades are A’s and A-minuses. It appears that even NU is not impervious to grade inflation. Have professors begun to bump up grades to placate students? Or have classes themselves become easier? A quick flip through the new course catalog reveals the answer. I present to you some of the classes being offered next year:

MATH 220-0: The Number Eight

Introduction to the number eight. Addition, subtraction and some multiplication are necessary, but most fundamentals will be included in the course. Students will be taught its uses and functions from “eight”teen, the time to vote, to “eight”y, the time to die. Weekly quiz sections will test knowledge of basic techniques in drafting and reproducing the numeral in both written and numerical form. Students may not receive credit for both 220 and 226: Ten Minus Two. Required for 310: Double Digits. Prerequisites: permission of instructor and Math 105: Addition.

R/TV/F 398-0: Symposium; A Complete Look at Road Trip

A critical and comprehensive look at the modern classic “Road Trip.” Clips will be used to direct and focus discussion, and each class will begin with an excerpt that will guide the three-hour sessions. In addition, supplemental material including MTV’s “Tom Green Show” will be introduced to add perspective and aid students’ critiques. Topics for analysis include the shattering of sexual morals and the subversive Canadian humor of Tom Green. Students will primarily be graded on the creation of their own 10-12 minute “Road Trip” film that explores one of the film’s topics, including but not limited to, cheating on a loved one, evil college TAs and the exploitation of blind people.

PSYCH 105-0: Freshman Seminar; Which are Smarter: Cats or Dogs?

Man might never know the truth, but students will attempt a better understanding by exploring human perspectives and media stereotypes. How is it that cats can ask for Meow Mix pet food by name? Particular attention will be placed on cat’s unwillingness to defecate in off-brand kitty litter. Testing is a crucial portion of any psychology class, and students are required to attend weekly lab sessions. Experiments will include training cats to know that the old lady loves Tweety more and teaching dogs to realize that Beggin’ Strips are not, in fact, bacon.

MUSIC 325-0: Focus on Hip-Hop:

Ode to da Booty

Where are we now? How did we get here? This course provides perspective on one of hip-hop’s greatest traditions and serves as an intensive study of some of rap’s most celebrated poets. From Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “Baby Got Back” to Sisqo’s “Thong Song,” students will analyze the masterpieces of the genre. Special emphasis will be placed on the lyrical narrative and use of metaphors in such verses as, “Fonda ain’t gotta motor in the back of her Honda.” Students will be expected to bring to the class a love of music, writing and the rear.