“College is the best time of your life,” is a phrase frequently reiterated to incoming freshmen. I heard the saying repeatedly from parents, teachers and peers who had completed their first undergraduate year. Stereotypical college experiences, like those portrayed in movies and television shows, usually include scenarios in which students meet their best friends, find their soulmates, party any chance they get and graduate with clear future plans. The stereotypical “Northwestern experience,” however, is slightly different.

The archetypal NU student is a superhuman. They take challenging classes while maintaining a high GPA, hold leadership positions in multiple clubs, participate in research or an internship on the side and still manage to have a vibrant social life. But stereotypes typically are inaccurate portrayals of reality, and it is important to emphasize to college freshmen that the college experience is much more complex.

In my first few weeks of freshman year I met older students who seemed to have it all together. They idealized their experiences at NU. Some of them said they met their best friends here, some said they found their life passion and others talked mostly about the party scene. Rarely did I hear about people’s struggles. Nobody spoke about the difficult transition living away from home or complications that can arise from living with a roommate. Peer advisers talk about the difficulties of balancing school and leisure, but they don’t always mention the radical truth that most freshmen will be rejected from student groups or that freshmen may drop a few classes their first year. Reflecting back on my freshman year, I can say there were many differences between my experiences and the ones other people predicted I would have. The way we talk about freshman year, and college in general, should not be sugarcoated. College is a wonderful, unique experience, and students should make an effort to accurately portray a realistic college experience that includes both the highs and the lows.

In NU’s competitive environment, it is especially important that freshmen learn the truth about rejection. I came from a high school where signing up for clubs was voluntary and everyone was welcome. Similarly to my high school, NU students and faculty members enthusiastically encourage freshmen to sign up for clubs and student groups. After visiting the activities fair, I signed up for nine clubs. But it came as quite a shock to me that I not only had to go through an application and interview process for these clubs, but that I was also rejected from the majority of them. Looking back at it now, the rejection served as a blessing in disguise because now I only participate in the activities I’m truly passionate about. Rejection usually happens because freshmen are inexperienced, and many students still sign up for clubs as sophomores. But freshmen should be initially warned about rejection so they are not too disappointed if it happens.

Another aspect of freshman year that should be more clearly emphasized is the possibility that many of the people freshmen meet will most likely not remain their best friends. Equally, freshmen may feel for a while as though they don’t have any real friends on campus. The reality is that most freshmen walk into a completely new environment when they enter NU. They leave the familiarity of home and the close relationships they have built with family and friends, and they come to a place where they may know nobody. This can be a daunting experience and many students dismiss lonely feelings because they do not want to show vulnerability. Even after the first month of school I heard so many freshmen say they met their best friends and they feel completely secure and at home at NU. Whether this is true or not, freshmen should be told that it usually takes more than a couple of months to form strong relationships.

All this can be summed up as “The Duck Phenomenon.” “The Duck Phenomenon” claims that a student, on the surface seems to glide smoothly and effortlessly, but underneath the water where nobody sees, is frantically kicking its legs to try to stay afloat. The idea that NU students have everything together and successfully glide through college is a common representation of NU student life. But freshmen should know that even students who seem to have everything under control probably struggle in other ways. Many students deal with mental illness, physical illness, financial burden, learning disabilities, family issues and so much more. It is necessary for incoming students to know that they are not alone in their possible struggles.

Graphic by KT Son/The Daily Northwestern

College may very well be the best time of a person’s life, but this does not in any way mean that every moment of college is easy or even enjoyable. College is so much more than academics and partying. The years students spend at NU will be a time of growth and maturity. Students will learn about themselves and their lives through both joy and pain. To naive freshmen, it is imperative to represent all sides of the college experience and let them experience the journey.

Alana Farkas is a Weinberg freshman. She can be contacted [email protected]. If you would like to respond publicly to this column, send a Letter to the Editor to [email protected]. The views expressed in this piece do not necessarily reflect the views of all staff members of The Daily Northwestern.