Let’s talk about the “F” word.

No, not English’s “mother of all curse words,” but a word that has become almost as dirty: feminism. Why has the term “feminism” become so needlessly tainted? Why do both women and men of our generation avoid identifying as feminists? When discussion of the feminist movement arises, people often claim it is “too strong” or they are “kind of” feminists or they “don’t like the label.” They then explain that, while they would not identify as feminists, they believe in equality for men and women. This attitude is not only a contradiction, but also one that obscures meaningful dialogue and progress toward equality.

Media attention to feminism heightened last week when Alexandra Petri’s article “Famous quotes, the way a woman would have to say them during a meeting,” which highlighted the ways in which women often must speak to avoid being termed aggressive, bossy or too direct, went viral. Petri’s inspiration for the piece was an article by Jennifer Lawrence about unequal pay in the film industry. Yet, Lawrence explains when she realized her pay was significantly lower than her male peers, “I got mad at myself,” for not asking for higher pay, not at her employer. Lawrence’s misdirected anger ignores the larger problem of how women are unfairly expected to act and the consequences when they do not conform to these norms. Had Lawrence asked more directly for raises or negotiated more strongly, she would likely be thought of as aggressive or pushy and may not have received higher pay.

Petri’s article helps explain why some view the term “feminism” negatively. I have often heard people claim that second wave feminism gave the principle aggressive, angry or threatening connotations. Sound familiar? These are the same characteristics that, as Petri explained, women who are direct are often accused of, independent of the subject matter. It does not matter whether or not we agree with second wave feminism or with a particular branch of the movement. Feminism should be more about defining our own sense of self, independent of media, popular culture or societal norms, than about following the ideals of past feminist movements. We should each be able to define the idea instead of simply accepting others’ conceptions.

This is not to say that we should seek to upturn societal norms just because they are norms. Rather, we should emphasize thinking for ourselves instead of allowing media and popular culture to think for us, while also promoting an environment where each person, male or female, can do so.

We can argue over the precise magnitude of the gender pay gap in the United States, the accuracy of sexual assault and human trafficking statistics or the exact number of women in corporate and governmental leadership roles. But we don’t have to agree on these statistics to see that lack of equality persists in the United States. If we want evidence that the problem exists, we only need to walk outside and hear women being described in objectifying terms, observe how women must speak in a meeting or walk into a playground and hear six-year-old girls, acting no differently than their male counterparts, being accused of bossiness. When we consider the gross inequities women outside of the United States face, from lacking property and voting rights to being denied an education to being punished for being raped, we cannot afford to be equivocal. We cannot afford to be “kind of” feminists or to be afraid the word “feminism” is “too strong.” Our mindsets, our discussion and our actions must not be about whether or not we are feminists, but rather about what feminism means and how we will advocate for it.

Megan Angell is a Weinberg freshman. She can be reached at [email protected]. If you would like to respond publicly to this column, send a Letter to the Editor to [email protected].

The views expressed in this piece do not necessarily reflect the views of all staff members of The Daily Northwestern.