Ugh.

That was my first reaction when I learned that Ellen Pao, a former investing partner at the venture-capital firm Kleiner, Perkins, Caufield, & Byers, LLC, lost her discrimination lawsuit. Pao claimed she was not promoted to an investing role because of her gender, citing men with similar performance who were promoted. The details were, for me at least, painful to even read. I held my breath while reading Pao’s stories about colleagues discussing porn stars and her affair with a married partner shattering her reputation.

However, what bothered me the most was the evidence against Pao. The California court’s biggest mistake was not ruling in favor of Kleiner, but citing gender stereotypes as reasons why Pao should not have been promoted in the first place.

I want to interject this with a personal anecdote. I have always been very aggressive. I have never lost my competitive edge, despite my mother comparing me to an “aggravated Chihuahua.” In professional roles, I am always told I have to “smile more,” “speak softly” and “not rock the boat,” while I saw male peers receiving praise for actions similar to mine. Needless to say, when I saw Pao’s case, it sparked my attention. I saw a little bit of myself in her — a driven woman interested in achieving success in a male-dominated field.

The jury cited that the firm failed to promote her due to her behavioral problems, specifically her need to “soften (her) style.” Now, it may very well be that she should have been less aggressive, but Pao was not terminated for her lack of skill. According to a Business Insider article, her superiors lauded her skills. Instead, it was her personality that was the dominating factor in her evaluations.

This reflects a problem with how we view women in the workplace. Although of course both personality and performance are taken into consideration regardless of gender, males are overwhelmingly called out for their performance, while women are reprimanded for their personality. This dichotomy creates a vastly uneven playing field, where men are able to separate their personal and work lives and women cannot. Our personalities are reflections on our upbringings, our life experiences and our lens of the world. The ability to work with others is crucial to the workplace. But when we hold women to a higher standard for this, we make their jobs doubly as hard.

I do not necessarily think the firm in Ellen Pao’s case should have been found guilty. Discrimination — especially when subtle — is hard to prove.  However, it is unsettling that the reasoning for acquittal was such a blatant reflection of gender double standards in the workplace.

I do not have the answer to solving this problem. I do know, however, that we must at least acknowledge the problem of personality double standards in the workplace. If we do not, we cannot move toward finding a solution.

Julia Cohen is a SESP sophomore. She can be reached at [email protected]. If you would like to respond publicly to this column, send a Letter to the Editor to [email protected].