Sad to say goodbye to your favorite gorilla juice heads on the “Jersey Shore” in December? Drown your sorrows in the British version, “Geordie Shore.” Now two episodes into its fourth season, the show reminds me what I loved about the early years of “Jersey Shore” and then adds eight sex-crazed Brits and uncensored partying.
If you thought “Jersey Shore” was wild, the British copy might be more than you can handle. The Geordie cast is obsessed with hooking up, guys and girls alike. And when they’re not in the “shag room,” they’re arguing so constantly the cast makes Ronnie and Sammi’s blowouts look like child’s play. Through the first season, I was shocked by the graphic images and talk of their sexcapades, but as the episodes went on, I got used to it. I am still not sure if it reflects poorly on me, or the cast (Let’s go with the latter.).
The best and worst part about watching “Geordie Shore” is only being able to figure out half of what the cast is saying. Hearing the lads and lasses talk about being “proper mortal” and “tachin’ on in toon “was impossible to understand until I caught on about halfway through. To spare you the trouble, here’s my unofficial “Geordie Shore” dictionary to get you through the first few episodes.
“Geordie Shore” dictionary
bird – girl
lad – boy/boyfriend
lass – girl/girlfriend
mortal* – wasted
pull – take someone home/hook up
shag – smush
tash on – make out
us** – me
worldie – “World Class Bird,” or an amazing girl, not a grenade
*I encourage everyone to use this in their daily life.
**Please do not use this in your daily life; it is the most confusing thing ever.
The first few episodes played out eerily similar to the first season of “Jersey Shore,” only super-sized. Not one but two on-again-off-again romances formed between cast members. In true dramatic reality TV form, these led to emotional craziness the likes of which I’ve never seen before. There were not one, but two Snooki-esque meatballs that came in, got wasted on the first night and ended up apologizing the next day. They also had to work while they were there, but their tasks included spray-tanning strippers and nearly naked cater-waitering.
By the time the cast of “Jersey Shore” does its final fist-pump, you’ll have forgotten all about the comparatively tame bunch. “Geordie Shore” will keep you shocked and appalled well into the next American reality TV phenomenon.
