Remember when Christine O’Donnell became known as the “anti-masturbation candidate” during the senatorial primary way back in 2010? It originated from a video of her in the MTV show “Sex in the ‘90s” that went viral via “The Rachel Maddow Show.” Even though I’ve sufficiently forgotten about O’Donnell and pretty much the rest of those indignant Tea Partiers, I never forgot her spunky nickname.

Well, my haphazard political reminiscence came upon the realization that every current GOP candidate has some sort of administrative eccentricity that could potentially instigate a nickname with equal panache as Ms. O’Donnell’s moniker. Furthermore, renaming each candidate with some sort of special, succinct title would do a public good.What can I say? All rich, old, white dudes look alike, and every politician headshot is against that same hokey American-flag-next-to-a-blue-wall backdrop. So, without further ado, I present to you: A Semi-Analytical Collegiate Amateur Compilation of Epithets for 2012’s GOP Presidential Candidates Still in the Running.

Newt Gingrich: The