In high school I never napped. And more importantly, I never slept in front of people. Put me on a 15-hour flight and I would be wide awake the whole time, lest someone see me in a less than flattering sleeping position. Go back even further, to my pre-school days, and 4-year-old me fought my mum tooth and nail to skip nap time.
But the second I set foot on the Northwestern campus in September of 2008 I became an over-night narcoleptic. Give me five minutes and I can fall asleep anywhere at any time of day – and I don’t care if you’re watching.
In class? No problem.
How about in a 15-person seminar? Even better.
In the library, on the El, in the shower, at a concert. Been there, done that. But hey, it was Ingrid Michaelson, so you can’t really blame me.
I’m fairly certain I’ve dozed off in every corner of Evanston, from the children’s section at Evanston Public Library to the gardens of the Baha’i temple. So I feel more than qualified to bequeath unto you, the sleep-deprived campus of NU, the recipe for the prefect nap. I trust that you will use it well.
1. Do not, under any circumstances, begin your nap when the sun is still up and wake up after dark. This is will leave you in a semi-confused, lethargic state for the rest of the night.
2. Getting up after 20 minutes or half an hour is painful, but try to avoid sleeping longer than that, or you will just feel gross for the rest of the day- and by gross I mean you will feel like someone accosted you with a baseball bat and ran off with your will to live.
3. Never put on your pajamas or get under the covers. Pajamas are sacred to bedtime and if you are so tempted to nap in them, you may as well just fully commit and go to bed for the day.
4. Make sure to leave a buffer between nap time and class, parties or even general interactions with society. Especially if you’ve taken a long nap, you need some time to recover and regain your wits.
5. If you plan on napping while sitting up in public, please, please, please, sleep with your head tilted forward rather than backwards. That way people can’t get a good look at your face, especially if you’re a girl – or a guy, we don’t judge – with long hair that can strategically cover your face. Sure, the crick in your neck could leave you paralyzed for a few days, but at least you can maintain some of your dignity.
During the time that it has taken me to write this groundbreaking column, two friends have napped on my bed. And in general it seems like most people at NU nap at least a few times a week, and a lot of us are down for the count everyday. But what happens when we all graduate and go out into the working world?
Someday, like all good things, the naps have to end. So – if I’ve learned anything from accidentally waiting until 6th grade to wean myself off Barbies – my final piece of advice is to start ripping off the nap band-aid sooner rather than later. Seniors, that means you – step away from the Norbucks couches and those lovely plush chairs in Periodicals and go find a grown-up job. Preferably one where your cubicle is positioned so people can’t see you napping.
Samantha Booth is a Medill junior. She can be reached at [email protected]. Illustration by Corinne Chin.
