Why do people have sex? Procreation or to build a relationship? As a stress reliever or because of social pressure? All are definitely reasons people have sex, but regardless, sex should be about exploration, fun and pleasure!
Being in a great relationship does not mean you have to have sex, but those who do generally associate sex and pleasure with orgasms. Keep in mind, people don’t always reach orgasm, even with great sex. There may be outside factors affecting this: stress, overwhelmed emotions or tiredness.
Fortunately, there is more than one way for men and women to reach orgasm:
1. Many women can reach orgasm through stimulation of the clitoris, the only part of the human body that is solely for pleasure! Every woman differs in what they like, so ask!
2. G-Spot stimulation can also produce orgasm in women. It is located on the front wall of the vagina about two inches in. Some women can orgasm from G-Spot stimulation alone, but again, every woman differs when it comes to what they like. This could easily mean a combination of clitoral and vaginal sex with G-Spot stimulation, or specifically one or the other.
3. Men can reach orgasm through penile stimulation, but may not necessarily ejaculate. While ejaculation usually happens after orgasm, it isn’t necessary, and there is no norm as far as the amount of ejaculate.
4. Men can also reach orgasm through the stimulation of the prostate, or the P-Spot. Stimulation of the P-Spot can be achieved by massaging the perineum, or the space between the scrotum and the anus. The P-Spot can also be stimulated internally using a finger, massager or anal sex. Men differ in what they like and what they are comfortable with, just like women.
Orgasms are different experiences for everyone, and both partners must feel comfortable in practicing these acts. Always, always have consent!
A note on Faking It.
There are many reasons both women and men fake orgasms: maybe they feel they are ruining something for their partner or appear inexperiened if they don’t. Whatever the reason, it’s not a good habit. Faking an orgasm brings trust issues into your relationship that can threaten intimacy and it gives your partner the wrong idea about what turns you on. If you fake it, you may not be able to establish the kind of communication you need to make a real orgasm happen. If you haven’t faked it, great! Don’t get into the habit of it. If you have, set the record straight, talk to your partner and clear the air about unrealistic expectations either of you may have. Let your partner know that it doesn’t mean either of you are “bad in bed,” but just need time to explore what works for you. And exploration can lead to great sex and great orgasms for both of you!
