Breakups are never simple. When something breaks you need to clean up the pieces, wait for wounds to heal and eventually stop by the store to pick up a new one. There are a million reasons to end a relationship, but people often wait too long, hurt each other and ruin any hope for civility.
The Half Truth
When you break up with someone, you should always be honest, but if the reason you want to end things is really heartbreaking, tell some white lies. You may think that your new ex wants the truth about the hot bartender you’re starting to date, but they don’t. Tell your former significant other that your feelings have changed. It’s an honest way to let them know you want to stop dating without painting a detailed picture of your new life.
Kiss Your Sweatshirt Goodbye
If you left your iPod or bottle opener at your partner’s house, make sure to get it back before you break up with them. Once you sever ties, don’t call a few days later to ask about a toothbrush. Let it go. If you were dumped, let them know what you need early on. You don’t want to drag out negotiations.
Road Blocks
Whether you’re the dumper or the dumpee, you need to pre-emptively set up barriers to stop you from contacting your ex in a moment of weakness. Little reminders may not completely prevent communication, but they can help. For example, change their name in your phone to “DO NOT CALL.” De-friend them on Facebook. The less you see or know about them, the better.
Take Your Time
After a breakup, don’t think about the dating scene right away. Take some time for yourself. Remember your interests and behavior as a single person and focus on you. There will be a time and place to move on, but let it happen naturally.
Forced intimacy will only make you uncomfortable. Let love happen at its own pace.
