Relationships aren’t only about two people. They involve the couple, the ex-lovers, the neighbors, the mothers, the nosy professor and the most dangerous group: the friends. Dealing with friends can be the most complicated part of a relationship. Most problems with friends and dating stem from jealousy. Either they crave a relationship similar to yours, secretly desire who you’re dating, want more time with you or all of the above.
Maintain a Balanced Diet
When starting a new relationship, you need to learn to balance the time you spend with multiple groups. I have a simple rule: “Cross Your Heart.” There are four points in a cross and four main groups you must spend adequate amounts of time with. Number one is a no brainer: your significant other. Number two: You must spend alone time with your own friends. And finally, three and four are devoted to couple time with your group of friends and his/her group of friends.
Separate Spheres
A final element of the aforementioned “Cross Your Heart” rule is to avoid the center where all groups meet. Never, I repeat, never intermix your friend group with your partner’s. Problems can occur between the two groups that may put a rift in your relationship. Also, if you break up with your significant other, you do not want continued relations between the two groups.
Hands Off
This is a simple one. A cardinal rule, if you will. Do not flirt with their friends. Just don’t do it. He/She will notice. Fights will ensue.
The Ex-Files
If your friend randomly kissed a boy on a bus for an hour two years ago and you want to go on a date with him, I say do it. It could even make for hilarious jokes later. But you should never date a friend’s ex when actual feelings were involved. A friend is someone you would grab a drink with alone or in a group. If you have their phone number, they’re probably a friend. And don’t date your ex’s friends. There are a million fish in the sea. Get out of your toilet.
