You wanna know about the Northwestern dating scene? If you don’t know much, you already know it all – because it doesn’t really exist.
Wonder how many of those couples you see walking hand-in-hand down Sheridan Road or sitting dangerously close to one another in a dining hall met each other? I’ve got a few theories:
1) They can blame it on the a-a-a-alcohol: they met at a party.
2) They’re like most people, and it developed a bit randomly from mutual interests and mutual friends.
3) They’re not like most people and one of them put on their best profile pic, sent a creepy Facebook ‘poke’ and got the oh-la-la of the recipient.
In reality, most of that doesn’t really happen here. NU, let’s face it. Like many other colleges and universities, we have a very dominant hookup culture. I’m sure online dating sites like OkCupid and new campus phenomenon Like a Little operate at least partially from this very notion.
More often than not, I hear: “I’m in college and I don’t have time for commitments like that. I’m here to have fun and build my future.”
That’s the attitude most students seem to have, and it’s a fairly valid one. College is a very temporal place. You leave home, gain your independence, study madly (or not) and try to make something of yourself, all in a four year time frame. Near to the end, uncertainty looms for many. Job interviews, relocation and graduate school are all some of the many possibilities that may preclude the prospect of dating during college. Even college itself does things to individuals on a personal growth level.
The one reason I don’t date at NU resides on your face: your loud mouths. With two people coupling comes a tangled web of friends where many around you inevitably know all of your business. In the event of a breakup, I would dread the possibility of others around me knowing the juicy details of the split, especially if it was a nasty one. There are a lot of reasons why college students decide hooking up is the best alternative, and what I’ve mentioned only scratches the surface.
But for those of us who laugh in the face of uncertainty or seek companionship that isn’t centered on Patron and the Trojan man, there are ways out. I swallowed my pride and set up an online dating profile as a fun way to meet new people outside of my network. It’s not as weird or awkward as you may think, and many more are doing it these days. Studies show 1 in 5 adults in a new relationship met via online dating. Lucky for me, I’m part of that 20 percent.
Many of my friends started catching on after setting up a profile clearly started working for a few of us. Some of them have met people that have become great friends, others have been more fortunate, and some have come back with crazy stories like “he was so socially awkward that he wouldn’t eat while I spoke” or “she looked nothing like her profile pictures.” Of course, bad dates happen on and offline, but it’s worth a shot.
Sure, this is yet another area where life is becoming a bit too technologic, but I view it as a great intermediary rather than a replacement. It’s not like I’ve created an avatar on Second Life and date vicariously through it. It’s just another area where I can become acquainted with other people who I wouldn’t have met otherwise – minus the walk of shame or the bad hangover.
So if your dating paradigm matches Kelly Clarkson’s “I Do Not Hook Up” more so than Akon’s “I Wanna Love You,” there just might be hope for you.
Take it from me, it’s true. Or you can just ask my boyfriend.
Derrick Clifton is a Communication junior. He can be reached at [email protected].
