So you’re in love … now what? Getting to a point in your relationship when you realize you’re in love should not be the point you let yourself get too comfortable. Letting down your guard and allowing another person into your life is a difficult and admirable feat, but becoming too relaxed with your significant other is the equivalent of repeatedly hitting the snooze button on your relationship-and on your life. Although being head-over-heels in love means you’ve developed a sense of trust with your partner, it’s important to keep the spark alive. Here are some tips to avoid that proverbial “rut” you’ve undoubtedly heard your parents talking about.
1. Spice up the night. Things in the sack getting a little yawn-worthy? Couples tend to figure out the positions they like and repeat the same pattern night after night. If this is you, bust out some new moves-his mind will be blown (aside from other things, no doubt), and it allows for some serious carnal, rip-each-other’s-clothes-off loving. Further, if the bedroom is the only place you’ve gotten dirty, why not switch it up and get down wherever the mood may strike you … just make sure it’s not too public-you don’t want to be arrested looking like a fool with your pants on the ground.
2. Don’t let yourself go. You may have snagged a hottie off your undoubtedly good looks and personal charm, but saying those three little words shouldn’t be a free pass to skip the gym. Love is not skin deep, but it’s important you maintain the same routines you had when you were single. You don’t have to look perfect around your partner, but keeping the spark alive means not forgoing those habits that helped you hook your partner in the first place.
3. Maintain your friends and personal schedules. Alone time is a good thing-it allows you to cherish the time you do spend together. Until you take the next step to cohabitation, it’s important to sustain those activities you participated in when you were single. A little mystery also keeps the spark burning strong. On a similar note, don’t abandon your friends. Unless you’re agoraphobic, it’s essential to keep in contact with those who were there for you before you met your partner. Trust me, you’ll have plenty of time when you’re older to be alone with your mate, so why not take advantage of the friends you have now?
4. Lighten up! Relationships are undoubtedly serious, but unless you can still joke around with your partner, your relationship is likely to become stuffy and dull. Make sure you keep laughing and have fun with your mate-there’s no need to be serious all the time. These tips may sound like common sense, but too many people in committed relationships tend to forget these basic concepts when they feel truly comfortable with their partner. In order to develop an even more resilient bond with your partner, it’s important to understand that being comfortable doesn’t entitle you to be lazy. Every relationship takes work to keep it durable, enjoyable and lustful, and loving someone shouldn’t give anyone the right to stop working on it.
-Ellen Debatty, [email protected]
