Kian Hudson said traditional dating is hard to find at Northwestern because too many people just want to hook up.
“I would say my first qualm (with hooking up) is that it’s empty and so unromantic,” the Communication sophomore said. “It speaks to a lack of self-control.”
With this in mind, Hudson attended a speed dating fundraising event for Dance Marathon on Thursday night.
But Hudson, who is looking for a long-term relationship, is in the minority.
According to a recent New York Times article, which addressed the changing trends of college students’ dating habits, growing female populations on campuses make traditional dating more difficult.
Although the disparity of the male-to-female ratio at Northwestern is relatively small, there are more women on campus. In the most recent available data set, which was collected for the 2008-09 academic year, NU had 3,938 male undergraduate students to 4,335 female.
“I haven’t really noticed a big difference,” McCormick freshman Mike Goldberg said. “Northwestern seems pretty balanced, 50/50.”
While some students do not notice a difference, Ayuko Nimura said she feels there is a big disparity between men and women in her political science class.
“In my program there are 12 or 13 people and only two guys,” the first year Graduate School student said. “It is very obvious.”
Romantically frustrated students can take several steps, including attending speed dating events, to increase their odds of meeting a significant other, said Eli Finkel. The psychology professor, who has done extensive research on speed dating, said it is an effective way to meet a potential romantic partner, which is second only to meeting someone through a mutual friend.
“Speed dating is a really good option,” he said. “Friend-of-a-friend is probably the best way of meeting someone, but aside from that, if you’re doing it on your own, speed dating should introduce you to several different people of your preferred sex, and in your age range, and you can sort of take it from there.”
As long as their expectations are realistic, people can increase their chances of meeting a future partner by attending other events, including football games, fraternity parties or bar-hopping, Finkel said.
“Nobody should have an expectation that any one evening out for a couple of hours is going to make them find love,” he said. “That’s too high of an expectation.”
Weinberg sophomore Isabel Axon-Sanchez said although the male-to-female ratio on campus is equal, she hasn’t seen much traditional dating.
“It tends to be meeting someone at a party and hanging out a few more times,” she said. “Some people meet through student groups.”
While she said she did not participate in DM’s speed dating event because it would be “way too awkward,” she said meeting people at parties and around campus tends to work.”It’s an effective way of meeting someone,” she said. “I’d definitely get to know someone more though before jumping into a relationship.”
Regardless of the male-to-female ratio on campus, Finkel said, members of each gender should approach speed dating or any dating situation in the same way.
“Our data, if anything, suggests that men and women aren’t nearly as different as we think they are,” he said. “The stereotype is that men care a lot about physical attractiveness and women don’t care that much. In the data that we’ve been able to collect, men and women both care a lot about physical attractiveness with regard to early relationship, initial attraction dynamics.”
Still Finkel said he suggests dressing nicely and making oneself memorable by initiating unique topics of conversation “without being overly personal or risque.”
“I don’t think it’s the woman’s job to be demure and coy, and the man’s job to be assertive and dominant,” he said. “Both people should assume an equal plane and equal responsibility for initiating and following the conversation.”[email protected]
