Not every sexual encounter is as mind-blowing or goes as smoothly as we want it to. It can be awkward, uncomfortable, embarrassing and sometimes even painful-both emotionally and physically. For girls, sex can be termed “bad” for a plethora of reasons: too quick, too long, too hard, too soft and anywhere in between. It’s usually at which point we scream out an “Oh yeah” or let out a moan just so the poor guy will get it over with and put us out of our misery. Sorry to say, but girls can fake orgasms, and we’re generally pretty good at it. With such a long checklist of things that can ruin a night of getting down, it’s no wonder why we’re capable of Oscar-worthy performances in the bedroom.I wondered what would make sex bad for a guy-maybe if the girl just laid there like a dead fish or if he was expecting a convenient landing strip but was met by a jungle? I posed the question to a group of some friends and was surprised to find out that for guys, there really is no such thing as bad sex. As one NU alum told me, “Sex is still sex and if I got off, it couldn’t have been all that bad.” This group of guys made it clear that the sex scale for guys tends to range from amazing to mediocre if he is attracted to the female, as I tried to come up with as many different scenarios as I could for sex that I would surely dub “horrific,” “emotionally scarring,” “gag-inducing” or the like. The only situation in which these guys thought sex could actually be bad was if the beer goggles had suddenly worn off during the cab ride to her apartment and he was no longer attracted to her-too bad guys can’t fake it.I had a hard time wrapping my head around this concept as I know most other girls would, until I thought about the reasons we females label sex “bad” from a male point of view. 1. He’s a two-pump chump. It’s no wonder why this would piss off any girl-you’re ready to have sex and then all of the sudden, bam!, it’s already over with enough time to barely get you lukewarm (depending on the amount of foreplay, no doubt). Now although this could be embarrassing for the guy, it’s safe to say that a quickie wouldn’t necessarily be “bad.” The guy was so turned on that it took him mere seconds to get off (I wish we were so lucky)-how can that be unpleasant? Unless there is some alternate universe where orgasms don’t feel like heaven, I don’t see how premature ejaculation could not still be considered an overall successful night from a male’s perspective.2. He’s packing… not a whole lot. Just in case any of you guys had any doubt, girls generally do talk about their partner’s size to their friends, sometimes even pulling out the ruler for a visual aid. Taking off a new guy’s pants is like opening a Christmas present-you could either really like or be thoroughly disappointed with what you find. When you are unwrapping a new guy and find he’s less than well-endowed, it’s tempting to just throw your hands up and give up right then and there. But then we think, “Hey, maybe he knows how to use it or will make up for it with hours of foreplay.” Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case. Sometimes sex is bad just because you can barely tell that you’re having it. Although this once again may be embarrassing for the guy or lend to some insecurities masked by driving enormous trucks, it generally does not make for bad sex. If the guy can still get off, it doesn’t really matter how much heat he’s packing.3. Forgotten foreplay. Unlike men, it generally takes a female more than two seconds to get turned on and ready for action. As I’ve said before, no foreplay coupled with some jackrabbit thrusting can lead to some pretty severe chafing-especially when we’ve been drinking-which is not fun for us females. We all know that guy who refuses to go down on you or couldn’t find your hotspot even if it was glow-in-the-dark and had a sign pointing to it. Therefore, unless the guy was kind enough like McLovin’ to bring a bottle of spermicidal lube, the pumping action can be a little harsh at the get-go, making sex for us females not particularly pleasurable. For the guy, however, it’s still sex and he’s still getting off, which by now I’ve learned can never really be that bad.The only situation I can imagine being “bad sex” for a guy would be no sex-as in there were some technical difficulties below the belt that made it impossible to have sex at all. Nothing is more frustrating than flaccidity, trust me. I can only imagine how exasperating it must be for you gentlemen, at which point you’re probably too drunk to even remember what happened the next morning anyway. I guess my guy friends were right: There really is no such thing as bad sex for males if they are attracted to the girl and if they are able to orgasm. If any guy out there has an example of something that’s made sex bad, like if she screamed out “herpes” mid-action, let me know. I know there has to be something out there that would make men want to swear off sex with women for good-well, for the rest of the night at least.