People have asked me if being in a sorority makes me feel like I’m paying for my group of friends. I say no, but I can understand where they’re coming from. Some think that joining a Greek organization elicits an expectation to be “besties” or “bros for life” with everyone. But we know that’s not the case.
In a large Greek organization, it’s impossible to be best friends with every member. I have “sisters” I wouldn’t exactly call friends – it’s impossible to be friends with all of 100 girls. But there are many I would consider great friends whom I’ll stay in touch with for, well, ever. When I joined my sorority, I had a trial period to decide if the sorority and its sisters were worth paying the dues. I initiated to became the “sorority girl” I am today. Technically, my dues (as I pay them myself) go toward national sorority fees and social activities like formals. As far as I can tell, my investment has paid off, as I’ve had unique leadership and service opportunities. Sure, I didn’t join a sorority just to volunteer and be a leader. Many of us go through recruitment/rush – whatever you call it – because we want to be a part of something and make friends along the way.
But I understand why Panhellenic sororities can have such a bad rap – petty competition skims the tip of the iceberg; recruitment is at its core. Although NU’s recruitment is nowhere near as intense as the process at some other schools, an annual ritual that includes 1,800 girls is inevitably going to have a certain level of disingenuity.
As a recruitment counselor this year, I saw freshman girls have both awesome and horrible experiences (can you imagine getting blasted on Juicy Campus for having a medical condition?). I grew to hate how the system psychologically manipulates unsuspecting victims. So, I get that the sorority experience is not for every girl.
Nearly 40 percent of NU is Greek. What’s more? The variety of Greek councils on campus means that NU Greeks are not just the typical white frat bros, but can come from many different backgrounds and cultures. The bridge connecting all four Greek councils isn’t finished yet, but it’s getting there.
And Greeks don’t limit themselves to their houses alone – they go on to build friendships and be leaders within other activities both on and off campus. So maybe my decision to join a sorority was the catalyst to get more involved. Maybe my money goes toward having potential connections in the future. My boss at my first internship was also “true to the wine and the silver blue,” but – surprise, surprise – we never turned into stereotypically giggly sorority girls around each other. It merely wore the same letters and, for a time, adhered to the same core values.
Non-Greeks are obviously involved and are able to make those valuable connections, too – there is no question that one can be active on campus without wearing some Greek insignia. In a sense, this is what reassures me that I’m not paying for friends – I’m paying for the opportunity to meet people I might not have met otherwise. It’s a unique setting that allows for different girls to unite under shared values.
And my friends don’t all wear the same letters as me – many don’t wear letters at all.
