Gregg Gillis is a DJ, but fancies himself a musician. He can’t sing (well) or play an instrument, but he says he plays samples like they’re guitars. So I guess that makes his laptop the fretboard, and the radio his imagination? Who knew making music could be so easy? Here’s all you need to get started:

RADIO Where inspiration strikes. Since Gillis doesn’t write any of his own parts, he relies on a steady diet of Top 40 radio. It’s a wealth of new samples from which he fashions his beats, blips and hooks. He calls it “recontextualizing,” I call it bulimic listening, but who really knows? If you throw up lunch and dinner at the same time, and then eat it, does it count as a new meal?

LAPTOPIt’s your one piece of true equipment, and you’ll need a lot of memory, so don’t cut any corners here. If you have a PC, pirate some editing software. For Macs, Garageband will do. Now you have all you need to write a new (old) hit! Download, cut, paste. Download, cut, paste. Download, cut, paste.

POINTER FINGERJust one will do, but a whole hand would help to move the mouse.

FREE TIMEThe creative process isn’t a quick one. You’ve got to listen to millions of songs, make thousands of samples and then select the few hundred you’ll use on your album. Don’t have the time? Get a day job and keep your nights open and lonely. Remember, there’ll be plenty of time for drink and dance while you’re “performing.”

BOOZEAs post-modern art continues to eat itself, go ahead and indulge. Take a few bites yourself, but you’ll need something hard to wash down the guilt.