Losing a loved one can be especially hard for college students, as they often are far from home.
“Their friends want to be there for them and be supportive and understand, but a lot of the time they don’t know what to say,” said Paulette Stronczek, assistant director for developmental programs at Northwestern’s Counseling and Psychological Services. “Having others around who are also going through grief and who are experiencing things at the same time can be a tremendous support.”
To help grieving students, the University Chaplain’s Office organized the Grief Group, where students can to talk to their peers about personal loss. The group will hold its first meeting of the year today at 9 p.m. in Parkes Hall.
Group facilitator Erica Brown, who began leading the program four years ago, said she expects about eight to 10 students to join this year.
“A lot of college students – maybe even some adults – have never experienced loss, so how do you talk about it?” said Brown, who also serves as assistant university chaplain. “Grief can bring things you wouldn’t expect, such as anger or laughter, and things you didn’t think you would be dealing with or tell anyone.”
Group meetings offer a safe environment for students to talk about loss and develop friendships with their peers, and small groups allow students to engage in intimate and supportive conversations, Brown said. The group attracted about five core members last year.
“Sometimes you don’t want to be alone,” she said. “The folks in the grief group get that, and it’s OK if you just want to check it out and see what it’s like for other people.”
Brown said CAPS sometimes refers students to the group.
“There are more people than we know who have experienced loss and could benefit from this type of peer support,” she said.
It’s helpful to have students who are at different stages in the grieving process discuss their feelings about holidays and personal milestones without their loved ones, Brown said.
“It’s kind of like a wound that never heals,” Brown said. “If someone has just experienced loss, it helps to see someone else who went through it already and say, ‘I will get through this.'”
Brown said all students, regardless of religious beliefs, are welcome to attend the discussion.
“When someone dies, the religious questions it raises with what happens and where to go from here usually have a faith- or spiritually-based component,” she said. “Whoever comes to the group brings whatever they believe with them. No one would ever force you to say or believe anything.”
Students who would like to discuss their feelings of loss concerning recent events such as the war in Iraq are also welcome to join the conversation.
“There’s a lot going on in the world that’s overwhelming, and people can have reactions to extreme loss-of-life situations,” Brown said. “It’s possible to grieve without physically losing someone.”
Stronczek said that sharing stories of loss with others can be helpful and healing.
“When they experience loss, at times people will need someone to talk to about it,” she said. “Sometimes they are not as comfortable talking to others who are grieving at the same time or don’t know how to bring it up, but there should be a priority to address that.”
Reach Kristin Ellertson at [email protected].
