By Alice TruongThe Daily Northwestern
Sex, drugs, rock ‘n’ roll, fame, glory, the meaning of life, the cure for cancer, the chance to meet Oprah. This could all be yours. Don’t believe us? Keep reading, kid.
We know that all quarter you’ve been wondering how your favorite columnists got the glorious lives they did. They’re cutely quirky and ooze confidence. They use words like “elusive” and can slip Plato into everyday conversations. They’re moles in the robot community.
It’s actually one of The Daily’s biggest secrets (second to how a handful of overworked, stressed-out kids manage to churn out pages of coherent relevance everyday). Once you become a Daily columnist, The Daily magic takes over. Within hours of the long-awaited “Introducing the Columnists” blurb, something just happens. Don’t question it, or it might just go away, and that would be heartbreaking.
Before current Forum editor David Kucinskas arrived at The Daily as a columnist this past Fall Quarter, he was quite the loner. And now – well, at least he has friends at The Daily. Maybe he wasn’t the best example.
But beyond Dave’s failed attempt at being the rock star he always dreamed of, look at this quarter’s wonderful lineup. Look at what you could be. Just look.
It is once you become a columnist that you could get James Shih’s undeniable spunk, Lindsay Meck’s beautiful soul, Josiah Jenkin’s sweet bod, Francesca Jarosz’s insatiable curiosity and Alec Hayden’s unparalleled sexiness. Who could say no to such a combination? (We’re sure that if Dave weren’t graduating, he’d try his luck again.)
Or perhaps you thought that while all the stated qualities are true, the columnists you’ve read all quarter didn’t represent you and your passions. Perhaps you thought they were all a bit too whiny – or at least whiny about the wrong subject.
Maybe you want to be the next kid to talk about how best to velociraptor-proof your house. Maybe you know what the real implications of overlooking the Asian American community. Maybe you think Coke Plus is God’s best gift to the world since, well, you know, the world.
Whether or not you care about whether or not Britney Spears has lost her spark, we know that deep down, you have a voice, and it’s screaming, screaming so unbelievably loud that you can’t help but jump on your computer to write your masterpiece, right now, no less. And deep down inside, you know there’s no better venue than the Daily Forum page. You’ve been reading the page long enough to know that this is exactly where you want to be.
If you’re not afraid of the attention – or sex, drugs, fame and all that jazz – then perhaps you’ve got the makings to be a fabulous Daily columnist. Do you think you can handle all the madness?
The instructions are pretty simple: All you have to do is submit two 550-word sample columns, five column ideas and a 150-word bio to [email protected] by June 15. You don’t need to be an NU student either. It’s not like NU kids are the only ones who know how to combine entertaining life experiences, classroom lessons and esoteric pop references that only the YouTube community gets. We welcome and love to hear perspectives from the Evanston community. It’s equally entertaining and insightful, and it also provides a fresh perspective.
And by the way – as if anybody didn’t know – the meaning of life includes plenty of The Beatles, “Lost” marathons, Nilla Wafers and dedicating what remains of your soul to The Daily. Appealing, ain’t it? One more random universal truth we’ll impart: While being a Daily columnist is fab and certainly looks beautiful on your resume (right next to your ability to belch the alphabet), it in no way guarantees you a job at Spin Magazine right after graduation. Dave had to learn that the hard way.
