Northwestern University and Evanston's Only Daily News Source Since 1881

The Daily Northwestern

Northwestern University and Evanston's Only Daily News Source Since 1881

The Daily Northwestern

Northwestern University and Evanston's Only Daily News Source Since 1881

The Daily Northwestern


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Misdemeanor charges dropped against NU faculty for activity during pro-Palestinian encampment
City Council approves $2 million grant application to renovate Hilda’s Place, talks Evanston Dog Beach accessibility access
City Council expands guaranteed income program, exempts athletic fields from leaf blower ordinance
Body recovered in Lake Michigan, EPD examining identity of body
Evanston’s ‘Seeds of Change’ theme inspires unity at Fourth of July parade
Lawsuit against Pritzker School of Law alleges its hiring process discriminates against white men
Evanston Fire concludes recovery search and rescue efforts for missing swimmer after ‘exhausting’ all resources
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Perry: A little humility goes a long way

Brew, Hou, Leung, Pandey: On being scared to tweet and the pressure to market yourself as a student journalist

June 4, 2024

Haner: A love letter to the multimedia room

June 4, 2024

Independent review of athletics department released, puts forth key recommendations

Northwestern hosts groundbreaking ceremony at Ryan Field construction site

June 25, 2024

Derrick Gragg appointed as Northwestern’s vice president for athletic strategy, search for new athletic director begins

June 13, 2024

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The secret (and short) lives of cicadas on campus

NU Declassified: Prof. Barbara Butts teaches leadership through stage management

Everything Evanston: Behind the boba in downtown Evanston

Here’s To The Night, Readership

Hey Reader. We’ve come a long way, huh? But it’s ending now. Yeah, this is my last column. No, it’s cool. I’ll deal. I made you this mix CD. It’s mostly Sarah McLachlan. I remember that you love her.

Hey, hey there. Don’t cry. It’s nothing. Let’s just remember the good times we had together, okay?

Like that night we put on togas and ate all those grapes up at Beta. And the time we swam in Lake Michigan, even though it wasn’t open yet. And when we fornicated in the Shakespeare Garden. A rose by any other name, right? Yeah, I don’t know what that means either.

I put together a pretty kick-ass slideshow for you to look at before you go. It’s mostly just a PowerPoint presentation from Economics 310: Advanced Microeconomics, but I found a few photos of you on Facebook that I’ve thrown in the mix. Nobody can ever diminish our marginal returns.

Oh yeah, there’ll be music over the last part. Let’s just say it’s something unpredictable, but in the end it will be right. I hope you had the time of your life, too.

Wow, there’s a lot of space left here. I didn’t really prepare anything else. Awkward!! Right?

This is almost as awkward as when you say goodbye to the kid from your freshman seminar and then you both walk away in the same direction or, you know, when a sorority girl does anything. Like, “Oh I’m eating a chocolate. AWKWARD!”

Wow, still there? How about that Jimmy Carter, huh? There was a big headline the other day about how irrelevant he is. Is that ironic or what?

What do you think Joe Lieberman thinks about when he goes to bed at night? Yeah, definitely spaceships. Spaceships. I’m so random.

Hey, are you donating $20.07 to the alumni fund? Yeah, me neither. I’m not donating anything until they fix up Shanley Pavilion. You know, it’s that building behind Lunt. Lunt’s the one on Sheridan Road with the pillars. It’s over by Garrett. Garrett’s the graduate seminary by the Dearborn Observatory. Yeah, I figured you’d know where that was.

I’m not really ready to go out and sell myself to capitalism. I mean, this place isn’t perfect. There are too many animals and the administration keeps pushing community without making substantial investments into student life.

But when else will I be around the people that I encounter here. Sure, we’re all a little pretentious, but at least we’re smart. And, I mean, there have been a lot of caring people around who have really made this experience worthwhile for me. I have always appreciated the time I spent here, even before I settled in and felt like this place was really home.

I’d like to give a special goodbye to you seniors. I’ll miss you guys. Oh, we’re walking the same way? Awkward.

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Northwestern University and Evanston's Only Daily News Source Since 1881
Here’s To The Night, Readership