A lot of things make me angry these days. I’m not sure whether it’s the fact that I always seem to be sick or the endless amounts of school work, but I am becoming a very angry person. As a result, I have compiled a list of the things that make me most angry.
The possibilities were almost endless, ranging from the Academy Awards to snow cones, but I am limited to about 500 words so I was forced to whittle the list down. Without further ado, here are the top six things that make me angry:
6) Tyrannosaurus Rex arms. I can’t explain this but they really bother me. They are so small and useless. Why did they evolve that way? At some point in history did dinosaurs with tiny, useless arms gain an advantage over other dinosaurs? I think at some point God just said, “Man, I made these guys way too good at killing things: I should probably take away their elbows.” Then God stole their elbows.
5) Sylar. Holy crap, is this guy creepy. He is scarier than an unwanted pregnancy. To top it off, his mom said he could even be president if he wanted to. I wish someone would just tell him to go and get his own super powers. It’s too bad the Petrelli brothers are such nancies; Jack Bauer would stop him easy.
4) My “good friend” Hayley Fry. Just kidding Hayley, you are the best, but really you’re not though.
3) Things I am not sure actually happened. You know what I’m talking about. Like one time in class, a kid’s cell phone started ringing and then he answered it and talked for a while right in the middle of lecture. I wanted to say something, but no one else even noticed so now I am pretty sure he doesn’t exist. Or one time, O.J. Simpson wrote a book called “If I Did It” about how he killed his ex-wife. Or another time, the Boston Red Sox won the World Series. Life can be so confusing.
2) Tricksy fat hobbitses. We hates them, they takes it from us.
1) People who think a) that pirates and ninjas are on the same team and b) that pirates are better than ninjas. These people are just plain ignorant. Pirates and ninjas have been enemies since at least 1985 and probably before then.
Pirates and ninjas are like the Washington Generals and the Harlem Globetrotters. While pirates might be cool and kind of good at basketball, ninjas will always win. This one time, a pirate was walking behind a ninja on the sidewalk and stepped on the ninja’s shoe. When the pirate got home, his girlfriend was pregnant. Six months later she gave birth to a ninja. Ninjas only spend six months in the womb, it’s part of why they’re so awesome.
So there you have it, the six things that make me most angry. If I catch you doing or liking any of these things I’ll make your mom stop loving you.
