By Sarah SumadiThe Daily Northwestern

Stand-up comedian Christian Finnegan said he had a lot to be happy about: releasing a new CD, going on tour, making people laugh – not to mention getting married in August.

“I finally found the woman I’m going to spend the next four to seven years with,” Finnegan told a crowd of Northwestern students Saturday night. “No, I’m kidding – three to five years tops.”

Finnegan, who has been featured on “Chappelle’s Show” and VH1’s “Best Week Ever,” entertained a mostly full Tech Auditorium this weekend. NU was his third stop on Comedy Central’s “Two For Flinching” tour.

The Center for Student Involvement booked Finnegan’s show, which also featured comedians Joe De Rosa and Nick Thune, to finish off the Center for Student Involvement’s Winter Carnival.

Finnegan educated the crowd on what he called a “dance threshold,” or the amount of music needed for any given person to start dancing. This threshold, Finnegan said, is different for everyone.

“Gay men and sorority girls have very low dance thresholds,” he said. “But I’m a white man from New England, so my dance threshold is just below Stephen Hawking.”

He said he hated dancing, and was sick of dance club names like “Vision” or “Speaker.”

“The name of a club should reflect something you might actually encounter there,” Finnegan argued. “Like, ‘Hey man, you want to go to Hepatitis?’ ‘No, dude, let’s hit up Date Rape and then maybe swing by Low Standards.'”

Voting rules were another thing Finnegan said he wanted to change.

“Right now in this country, if you’re a felon, you’re not allowed to vote,” he said. “But I think if you own an Ashlee Simpson CD, no vote for you.”

Finnegan joked with several students in the audience, including one who said he was a journalism major.

“Ah, journalism,” Finnegan said, smiling. “So one day you’ll be able to write a really good article to your parents about why you don’t have a job.”

Stand-up comedians Joe De Rosa and Nick Thune performed shorter sets after Finnegan headlined.

A tall and skinny Thune played guitar while telling a string of unrelated jokes, a style some students said reminded them of late comedian Mitch Hedberg.

“I’d like to start my own company in case comedy doesn’t work out,” Thune said. “I’d call it Macrohard, and it would be a lot like Microsoft, just way bigger and way harder.”

After the three performed, they selected two students to compete for a $14 Comedy Central Scholarship, answering questions like “What are the hours of NU’s library?”

Medill senior Dan Kafoglis won the challenge. His picture will be on the Comedy Central Web site, and he will be entered in a drawing to win the Kia Sportage the comedians drive during the tour.

“I was pretty nervous on stage,” Kafoglis said. “But I’m happy to win – I guess I’ll spend my $14 on groceries.”

After the show, the comedians met audience members and signed autographs in the lobby.

“This show was hilarious,” said Krystian Zimowski, a McCormick freshman. “It was worth way more than the $4 ticket.”

Finnegan said that because NU was only the third stop of a 19-date tour, some of the show was still a work in progress.

“But I think it turned out well,” Finnegan said. “I love talking to the students here, and it’s always fun to insult them in a nice way.”

Reach Sarah Sumadi at [email protected].