The day after the Mets lost the pennant I was in need of cheering up and the Chicago Police Department answered my call.
Apparently, I had excelled at driving faster than anyone else on Lake Shore and the cops saw fit to handsomely reward me with a more expensive ticket and an invitation to traffic school, which I will be attending on Tuesday night.
This makes me a better person than you.
Sound silly?
Well it is. Almost as silly as assuming I’m naturally better than someone who doesn’t go to a private school.
Despite how silly that is, we still chant “State School!” derisively at our Big Ten opponents whenever we fall behind on the gridiron or the hardcourt, inferring that anyone attending Wisconsin, Michigan or Ohio State is poor, stupid or both.
So does the estimated $46,860 annual cost of Northwestern really make us better?
Well, NU does top a sliding scale of tuition in the Big Ten, but Michigan – which is no academic slouch – will cost an out-of-state senior the bargain rate of a mere $42,142 this year. Things get more interesting when you take into account that two of my roommates are actually paying less money at NU, because of financial aid, than they would have if they were a Badger or a Wolverine.
As far as intellectual virtues are concerned, Wisconsin, the recipient of our latest “State School” taunting last Saturday, was more than satisfactory for my grandmother and my sister who share the same genes that got me into Evanston.
In the case of Ohio State, don’t you find a school that won a National Championship four years ago with a molecular biology major at quarterback just a wee bit intimidating?
But there is the claim that our reputation precedes us. And it does.
How else could my high school believe Matt Decovsky’s claim that he had 512 pennies thrown at him during sporting events at NU because, obviously, he’ll need our charity with the porous education he is receiving in Madison.
To poke more holes in that logic, as a journalist next year, I could optimistically make $30,000. My sister on the other hand, will be in her first year as a lawyer to the tune of $80K. At the least.
Don’t get me wrong. I am proud of Northwestern and the education I have received the last four years. But wearing purple on Saturdays in the fall doesn’t make me better than someone who wears red, maize or scarlet.
And it doesn’t give me license to say so either.
Sports Editor David Kalan is a Weinberg senior. He fights for truth, justice and the American way every Friday. Reach him at [email protected].
