It’s Thursday. You’ve got an exam tomorrow at 9 a.m., and you’ve done absolutely nothing to prepare for it. Screwed for midterms, right? No. That’s not what I’m talking about.

With every minute of impending doom, your body is probably physically stressing out. Your pulse rises and you become increasingly anxious before the exam. How do you cope with this tension after you triumphantly hand in your blue book?

Most people choose to eat incessantly, flagrantly abuse various substances, manically work out, sleep marvelously for long hours, blast the latest angst-ridden album (think emo or Eminem), or drink belligerently. But there’s a select few who, well, fuck.

Yes, fuck.

I really don’t care what the latest abstinence- support networks, Christian conservative organizations or Nazi-like, “no sex” philosophy-abiding feminist groups are preaching these days. As long as it’s done in a safe and consenting environment, sex is the end-all cure to your high-stress life as a college student.

But don’t take my word for it. It was, after all, psychologist Sigmund Freud who said that most human interaction revolves around sex. No, you pervert – not genital sex, but a libido, or a sensual energy. And Freud was pretty adamant about his concepts. I mean, he even called it quits with his homie, Carl Jung, over disagreements in sex theories. But that’s beside the point.

Now, I’m not saying I support all of Freud’s theories – as in, there’s no way kids poop to relieve sexual tension – but I do agree with his broader argument: Sex, by nature, is a great stress-reliever.

For example, make-up sex. Isn’t it always a fantastic thing? The girl is all tension-ridden because she’s been bitching at the guy for a week for some petty girly stuff. The guy is all tension-ridden because the girl’s been holding out for an entire week, and he still doesn’t understand why.

So the guy finally apologizes and pretends to understand why the girl was upset and she finally forgives him because she’s under the delusion that he comprehends his “mistake” and that he will never, ever do it again. Oh, relationships.

Anyway, the imminent sex is mind-blowing. Or at least it should be. If it isn’t, start looking for another person with whom you can romp around. But be decent. Let your partner know that it’s off before you start your quest to get laid properly.

So when you finish your midterm, don’t feel guilty if your natural instinct is to just plow somebody. But remember: Have some decency. There are prospies and old folks who chill on our campus. And it better be safe and consenting sex, or you will get your ass kicked physically by the girl and her clique or legislatively by a sexual harassment lawsuit.

If you can’t find anybody, there’s always masturbation – but that’s never nearly as fun.4

Medill sophomore Nina Kim is a guest PLAY sex columnist. She can be reached at [email protected].