Choices. When a woman finds out she is pregnant – unintentionally – emotions spiral. First there’s the panic; then the terror; then maybe even the shame. After that comes the part where the woman has to choose: Will she abort or keep the baby?

Politicians have an opinion. So do judges and students and activists.

But the women who actually decide are the voices that need to be heard, experts say.

More make decisions than you’d probably think. One in two pregnancies is unintended, according to Dotty Mayer, a counseling coordinator at Planned Parenthood Chicago Area. Although a Daily survey revealed that very few Northwestern students – less than 1 percent – have had abortions, studies indicate that one in three women will have an abortion before the age of 45. Chances are good that NU women, or someone they know, may be forced to decide the outcome of an unplanned pregnancy and may choose to abort.

“An unplanned pregnancy can happen to women of any race and any income,” Mayer said. Mayer has counseled over 7,600 women regarding unplanned pregnancies in her 14 years with Planned Parenthood. No two situations have been the same, she said. The decision to keep or abort a child is personal and situational.

Among women confronted with a positive pregnancy test, Renee Redd has noticed a series of complicated emotions that factor into whether or not a woman will keep or abort a child. Redd is a trained psychologist and the director of NU’s Women’s Center, 2000 Sheridan Road. She has counseled a number of NU women faced with the prospect of pregnancy.

The first response a woman experiences is terror when she realizes how much pregnancy will alter her life, Redd said. Terror is followed by an assessment of whether the woman is willing to support a child.

According to Redd, many women begin to anticipate rejection from people around them – and they decide whether that rejection is more than they can handle.

“What happens is pregnancy forces people to explore their own beliefs about abortion and about their futures,” Redd said.

Women often turn to clinics or women’s centers to explore their options. Many women in the Chicago area turn to Planned Parenthood’s downtown Chicago office, a large pink building decorated with modern furniture and multiple pots of white orchids.

According to Mayer, most women who come into Planned Parenthood have already decided they want an abortion. A few women come in requesting information about adoption. Mayer counsels women who come in feeling conflicted.

“We open the discussion,” Mayer said. “Planned Parenthood is completely unbiased and nonjudgmental. We will not give an abortion until a woman is completely sure of what she wants, and we know that she is not being coerced into doing something she isn’t comfortable with.”

How a woman comes to her decision is personal, Mayer said. Every woman is under different circumstances.

“Sometimes an unplanned pregnancy is the tip of an iceberg,” Mayer said. “What’s under these conflicted feelings are histories of violence, abuse and issues relating to depression. Sometimes an unplanned pregnancy can make these issues manifest.”

Redd points out that pregnancy often changes a woman’s existing views on the abortion debate. She has known of situations where women who define themselves as pro-life discover they are pregnant and change their minds.

“Very quietly, very silently they have an abortion,” Redd said. “Sometimes it is such a frightening and life-altering prospect that people alter their opinions or act differently from what they thought their belief system was.”

Women who define themselves as in favor of abortion rights often choose to keep the baby.

Adoption is another option, although it can be a lengthy and challenging process. In the last five years, Planned Parenthood’s downtown Chicago office has placed only 25 babies in new homes, Mayer said.

Whatever decision a woman makes, Mayer said that it is very important that a woman makes the decision for herself and not bow to pressure from friends, family or religious institutions. Doing so can result in actions that the woman may not feel comfortable with.

A problematic situation arises when a family threatens to disown a pregnant teen unless she agrees to abort. In these situations, Mayer will try to connect the teen with a shelter for young mothers. Mayer said this is huge challenge because there are no facilities in the Chicago area where teens can be supported.

Religion is another factor that contributes to a decision. Reverend Joseph Kabari, a Catholic priest at the St. Nicholas church in Evanston, said it is not his role to tell a woman what she must do. Instead, he invites the woman into his office, sits her down and asks her questions.

It is much more complex than just prescribing a formula, he said. Every woman comes from a different cultural background and a different faith. He would weigh all the factors impinging on her decisions. He said every life is a gift from God, and the life of the child is more important than the temporary inconvenience to the mother.

“Objectively I want to defend life and encourage her to have the baby, but all the factors must be in place,” he said. He said the woman must also be mature and capable enough to manage the responsibilities of motherhood.

Most women who come to him for counseling have already anticipated the advice he is going to give, Kabari said. He quoted novelist Jean Paul Sartre, saying that when someone has a problem, the kind of person sought for counseling reveals the kind of answer one expects.

“If the young lady is Catholic, she should already know what the priest is going to say,” Kabari said. “She is seeking confirmation of her own faith and her own fears.”

Not all members of the religious community share the same belief. Heather Voss, NU’s Episcopal chaplain, said that when it comes to matters of faith, the church can sometimes be the source of tremendous amounts of guilt and shame surrounding unplanned pregnancy.

“The assumption of many is that if you have an abortion then God will no longer love you,” Voss said. “They feel that they have severed their relationship with God, and they don’t know how to come back.”

With her congregation, Voss advocates a religious community that can support women in their decision to keep or abort a child. The church should be a place that can help alleviate the pain, not increase it, Voss said. Voss is one of a small number of Christian leaders who advocates a woman’s right to choose.

Redd said every woman is different and no one woman fits in a general formula. “Some people experience sadness or tremendous relief after an abortion,” Redd said. “Some feel guilty, and this guilt stays with them for a long time. Some choose to have the child and then regret having had the child. Some feel blessed for having had the child. Women’s reactions are all over the place.”

Reach Alex Doniach at [email protected].