In college, I just chose not to make a lot of decisions for myself. Before I chose my lunch from the buffet at the sorority house, I would ask people what they thought of the entrees. Before leaving for class, I would ask around and see if I needed to bring a raincoat or an umbrella. If I liked a guy, I would ask my friends what they thought of him. And they were usually right. The one time I really went against their opinions, I ended up getting my heart stomped on.

After college, I moved into a house with roommates from my sorority and the fraternity across the street. We called it the Greek halfway house. Again, I would ask the roommates for opinions on, well, pretty much everything. When I went out, I felt obligated to tell the roommates where I was going and with whom and invite them along.

Then I moved into a house with friends of a friend. They didn’t care who I dated. They didn’t care where I was going or who I was going with.

And it was liberating. It was amazing. I could do whatever I wanted. Not that I did bad stuff compared to my roommate who dated two guys named Mike at the same time and wanted me to ask for last names when I took phone messages for her.

I finally felt independent. My roommates and I went our separate ways and until a few months ago, I lived alone. Going back to having a roommate after living alone is tough. I feel like I have to eat more balanced meals. I have to do my dishes in a “normal” amount of time — I can’t do them immediately because that would make my roommate feel like she has to do hers immediately. But I can’t take too long either.

I find that it takes a lot of energy to make my roommate think I am a nice, acceptable roommate. I want to sleep all day and stay up all night and fill the refrigerator with bonbons and Diet Coke, but I feel like I can’t because I have a roommate.

Most of my friends from college lived with roommates after college and are now married, engaged and/or living with their boyfriends. They see my love of living alone as an extension of the fact that I grew up pretty much as an only child. But it is more than that. I can handle the silence when it’s just me. And I like it.

I wish they all could experience it. I wish everyone could experience it. Your own refrigerator filled with whatever weird food you like. Your own TV so you can watch whatever you want. And no one to judge you. It really is refreshing.

Amanda Wolfman is a Medill graduate student. She can be reached at [email protected].