The rite of spring at Northwestern mean one thing: complaining about a lame Dillo Day band. Last year, we echoed that sentiment after the ho-hum selection of The Wailers as the headliner. We urged Mayfest to spend all of its future money on one big act, rather than divvying it up among a variety of bands that please no one.

Mayfest ought to act now toward luring that one big act. A true headliner would create a buzz the concert has lacked in recent memory. Indeed, with university officials growing wary of Dillo Day mayhem, Mayfest should put a premium on a big name that will draw students away from keg parties and down to the Lakefill. With the influx of cash Mayfest received from Associated Student Government’s fall supplemental funding, the group has no excuse.

What kind of name would satisfy us, you ask? Clearly Bruce Springsteen is not going to play a college campus. So be it. But for the right price, Mayfest certainly could find a star just desperate enough to play at NU. Some suggest Salt-N-Pepa for a revival of seventh-grade hormonal hi-jinx, others the comic stylings of “Weird Al” Yankovic. May we float another name, a man whose alimony and bail payments make any gig appealing: the hardest working man in showbusiness, the Godfather of Soul, James Brown.

It ain’t no drag — it’s time Mayfest got a brand new bag. (Sorry, we couldn’t resist).