For the latest dorm news, a piece of witty satire or a good “yo’ mama” joke, Northwestern students know where to look — the bathroom stall.
Taped at seated eye-level to the back of stall doors, dorm newsletters provide comic relief for students in the midst of their relief.
“They’re sitting on the pot, and it’s boring and they need something to read,” said Communication senior Mahvish Khan, the author of Hobart House’s one-page weekly.
Khan’s Oct. 27 issue of “The Toilet Paper” includes news about firesides and social events as well as a few “Deep Reflections on the Pot.”
Like Khan, many other residence hall secretaries compile publications and post their products by the potty.
“People will move them so they can read them (more easily),” said 1835 Hinman’s “Shit to Know” author Diana Metzger, a Communication sophomore. “The boys will put them on top of the toilets.”
Although the newsletters often change locations, they generally remain in the bathroom itself, most secretaries said.
Mike Placito, a Communication sophomore and author of Allison’s “Chicago Triburinal,” said the goal of bathroom journalism is “to embarrass as many people as possible.”
“If anyone does anything ‘Jackass’-worthy, we’ll put it in there,” Placito said.
But some stories — like the “Triburinal’s” first-issue piece about a resident assistant drunkenly writing herself up — are complete fiction, leaving readers guessing at the validity of every story.
The Willard “Conshitter This,” written by Weinberg sophomore Mathias Muschal, focuses more on informing students while entertaining them.
An editorial complements features like “Quotes to Make You Giggle While You Poop” and a cartoon strip called “The Adventures of John the Sun.”
Many Willard residents eagerly greet the arrival of a new “Conshitter,” gathering in the bathroom whether or not they need to use the facilities.
“I’ve gone in with three girls and we’ve all stood in the handicapped bathroom,” said Alexandra Schwartz, a Weinberg freshman.