Walking through Norris University Center on Tuesday, an important desire was left painfully unfulfilled.

“You know what, Nick?” I thought.

“What?”

“You need a beer.”

“Yeah. It’s too bad there isn’t a bar in front of me. Right now.”

The now-infamous Norris bar was slated to open last week, officials said, but Evanston permit issues left me in anguish.

Student response to the bar in Norris has ranged from casual (drinking good!) to the expected (Norris bad!).

Enthusiasm from Associated Student Government and Norris remains high, though. ASG President Mike Fong expresses hope in the bar’s success, hailing it as a “good opportunity for students to gather and socialize.”

Fong hopes to emphasize alcohol less, luring students with entertainment and games. While Fong and administrators hasten to use the term “bar,” we all know what it is. And even if there are other activities to enjoy, nothing changes the fact that you are spending your weekend in Norris.

I don’t hold out much hope for the bar. And although Norris Assistant Director of Facilities Stephen Guinta called its closeness a benefit, he pointed out the obvious.

“Sometimes (students) just want to get off campus,” Guinta said.

Norris only becomes a social hub when folks from both sides of campus have a valid reason to go there consistently. A bar won’t help this, and if it ever gets built, it will fold quickly for two reasons.

First, it’s going to be legal. This means the bar will compete with the places in Evanston that accept identification written in crayon. Why spend your Friday night in Norris when you can use a Crayola at The Keg of Evanston for cheap beer and all the Kappa booty you want?

Second, those of age will patronize every bar in Chicago. The only incentive to go to Norris would be the novelty of drinking there.

After comparing the grim austerity of Norris’ Game Room with the relative ambiance of anywhere else, I’d imagine most people would find alternatives to Norris Underground.

This isn’t the first time misguided steps have been taken to give students a social venue on campus. One of the most notorious examples is Playfair, a series of icebreakers during New Student Week.

Mike Levitt, Weinberg ’02, called the annual event an insidious invention for the purpose of “banal conversation usually reserved for junior high mixers.” The bar has the potential to end up just as unappealing as Playfair is every year.

The main problem with Norris lies in attempts to create irrelevant services that can’t compete with private ventures. Norris functions amazingly with a well-attended dining service and bookstore, right in the middle of campus with ample seating and good food. Places like Sbarro, LaSalle Bank and Cat’s Corner Video help the university use valuable mid-campus space to improve student life.

If the administration wants to improve Norris’ patronage, more services need to be built with student accessibility and private competition in mind.

Norris has cornered the student market with such luxuries as overpriced coffee, frustrating banking and sushi of the utmost authenticity.

Maybe a liquor store with lax carding is the real solution.

Nick Disabato is a McCormick junior. He can be reached at [email protected].