This might be the best job in the world.

Pre-requisites?

Just $90 and two classes.

Preparation time?

Fifteen minutes. You need to stop at the liquor store, put on a Halloween costume and offer the girl from The Daily a beer if she’ll write a good review. Job description?

Sit with two of your best friends and chew the fat about whatever you want. More focus is required when daydreaming. Your banter includes debating whether Batman wears a fanny pack or a utility belt, learning about Boxing Day in Canada, chatting with your husband on the phone, pondering the institutional racism in Halloween costumes and inquiring into the necessity of hemorrhoid commercials during dinner time.

How does your job end?

You wish your viewers a happy Halloween and tell them you’ll be back next week if you feel like it.

‘Easy for anyone’

This is the life of Rob Cichowicz, Laura McDougall and Andy Binder — at least one night a week — on their show “Polarity Live” on Evanston’s community cable channel.

“Polarity Live,” a call-in talk show, is one of more than 30 shows on Evanston’s public access channel six. Shows range in content from religious programming like “Clergy on Call” to “Croatian Perspective,” which discusses issues related to Croatians in the Chicago area, to Northwestern’s own “Northwestern News Network.”

Starting a show is easy.

Anyone interested can take the free introductory course taught the first Monday of every month. This is a general overview of the production skills involved in creating a show. By the end of the class, students get to practice with the cameras.

The second requirement is to take either a field or studio production class, each at a cost of $75. Next, annual membership dues of $25 — $15 for students and seniors — must be paid. Once these requirements are met, community members are free to start their own show.

Steve Bartlebaugh, executive director of Evanston Community Media Center, said the point is to keep the process simple.

“One hundred bucks and a couple of classes make it easy for anyone to get involved,” Bartlebaugh said. “There are no rental fees for the equipment or any hidden costs. It’s all about giving community members the opportunity.”

‘Fame is rough’

Rob Cichowicz, dressed as a hillbilly in a derby hat, a T-shirt torn to reveal his left nipple and blacked-out teeth, said, “If I can do it, anyone can.”

Cichowicz started his career in cable access eight years ago as a producer. He worked on a movie review show, then moved from behind the camera to in front of it. He said it that experience interested him in starting a second show.

“Then things just kind of developed with ‘Polarity Live,'” Cichowicz said. “In the beginning, we only played videos all night. Then Andy (Binder) got involved, and we decided to add something more.”

“We started talking about anything for just 15 minutes a show,” said Binder, looking ready for the camera in a full Superman costume, red panties and all. “As we got more comfortable in front of the camera, we began devoting more time to the talk-show part of it.

“We got comments from people saying they wanted to hear more talking and see less video, and we ended up changing the format into a call-in talk show with no videos.”

“Polarity Live” now covers religion, politics, Evanston and anything else that they feel like talking about, Cichowicz said. They don’t rehearse, and they don’t discuss beforehand what they will talk about on the show. Cichowicz said the allure of the show is its spontaneity.

Laura McDougall, sporting a self-described “Vampire Vixen” ensemble with a low-cut black dress and a tiara, is the most recent addition to the show. She is a 38-year-old artist, painter, wife and mother who was a fan of “Polarity Live” and frequently called in.

“Then one night I called and they suggested I come on the show,” McDougall said. “I remember I was so nervous the first time, I still can’t believe I did it. But I had such a great time talking and laughing and flirting with the guys that I decided to be on the show regularly.

“They’re such great guys. Andy (Binder) is the sensible father of three, and Rob (Cichowicz) is the Republican who wears NASCAR, knows the facts and pretty much hogs the show.”

She said for a while sorority girls from Northwestern would call in to flirt with Cichowicz, and once, they even brought him cookies at the station.

“Yeah, fame is rough,” Cichowicz joked.

‘That was not a fanny pack!’

One minute was left until “Polarity Live” went live. There was no producer counting down the seconds, ready to scream “Action!” with a black clapper. Instead, Binder unclipped his mike because he had to go to the bathroom. McDougall looked at herself in the monitor and declared, “I do have the holiday cleavage going on.”

Ten seconds left. Cichowicz found a straw of wheat and put it in his mouth to complete his hillbilly ensemble. McDougall yelled for a pen. Someone in the hallway threw her one, and she put her hair up in a twist.

Action. Binder slipped back in his chair. Cichowicz opened: “Hey, everybody. We’re here tonight to share some holiday memories.”

“Halloween in my favorite holiday because it’s close to Box Day in Canada,” McDougall said.

“What the hell is Box Day?” Binder asked.

“It comes from a time when the queen used to throw down coins from the top of hill and kids would pick them up and put them in boxes. It was, like, a PR thing from the 17th century,” McDougall explained.

“Well, aren’t you just a fountain of information,” Binder said.

Within moments, “Polarity Live” received its first caller of the night. The co-hosts recognized his voice immediately. It was McDougall’s husband.

“Hey Neil,” said Cichowicz.

Neil set the record straight. “Hi guys,” Neil said. “About Box Day, it is actually called Boxing Day, contrary to Laura’s wisdom.”

Binder, fixated on his own Superman costume, went on to discuss how some superheroes’ outfits aren’t very practical. “There are no pockets,” he said. “Where is Superman supposed to put his keys?”

“Hel-lo, what the hell does Superman need keys for? He flies,” Cichowicz offered. “The man of steel doesn’t have a lot of need for keys.”

“But what about Batman?” Binder pressed. “He had a fanny pack.”

“That was not a fanny pack!” Cichowicz argued. “It was a utility belt. A fanny pack is what my grandma carries.”

From this stimulating debate, they transitioned to such equally important issues as the sniper case in Washington, D.C., Jeb Bush’s daughter smuggling drugs into a rehabilitation center and the Nov. 5 elections.

“I’m really sick of (now-elected Attorney General) Lisa Madigan’s ads,” said Binder.

“You shouldn’t be surprised,” Cichowicz said. “It is just typical Chicago politics. I’ll tell you how bad my opponent is instead of letting you know what I can do for you. Politics today is all about ‘This guy is worse than I am.'”

McDougall jumped in. “Dang, Rob, you’re showing a lot of tit with that slit in your T-shirt,” she said. “Almost more than me.”

“I don’t think that is humanly possible,” Binder said.

All three of them then took a few minutes to watch a movie playing on the blue screen behind them. They watched mostly silently — no fear of dead air here — with Cichowicz casually mentioning that viewers should feel free to call in.

‘A mirror of the community’

Cable access programming may not be appropriate for everybody. Scott Erlinder, a senior lecturer in the Radio/Television/Film department at NU, said his department does mention cable access shows, but only in passing and almost as a joke.

“We do see (cable access programming) as a great opportunity for a unique content, but we don’t teach much about it extensively because the production level of cable access programming is much lower than our students are capable of,” Erlinder said. “Also, there isn’t a career in cable access. We are trying to make our students marketable.”

But that’s not Bartlebaugh’s aim. He wants to give the community a chance for free expression and said that as executive producer, he doesn’
t monitor the production or content of any of the shows.

“We look at our programming as a mirror of the community,” he said. “A mirror can’t judge or filter what it sees. We don’t control the content or the quality of the shows.”

But Bartlebaugh said he and his staff try to work with the creators to help take the show to the next level.

“Sometimes we get calls from community members angry about something that was said on a show and angrier that they think their tax dollars are funding this ‘crap,'” Bartlebaugh said.

But Bartlebaugh said cable access is not in fact funded by taxpayers. Evanston’s public cable channel is a non-profit organization funded by a portion of 5 percent of the fee that cable subscribers pay. They have to lobby the city council every year to get a portion of that 5 percent. Other funding is minimal and comes from donations and fees charged for production classes offered by the Evanston Community Media Center.

The Evanston media center, 1285 Hartrey Ave., runs three cable channels. Channel six, the public access station, airs all the community-run shows. Channel 16 features government programming, and channel 19 shows education programming. All three channels are funded by an annual budget of about $400,000, Bartlebaugh said.

‘How did you do that?’

Later in the show, the “Polarity Live” crew turned to city news.

“As if Evanston doesn’t already have enough problems keeping businesses, did you hear that now parking meters are going to be enforced until 9 p.m.?” Binder said.

“Yeah, that’s always romantic,” McDougall said. “When you’re drinking wine and looking all starry-eyed at each other and the guy has to run out to fill the meter.”

“Seriously, it is ridiculous,” Binder said. “It is going to cost the city $250,000 to enforce the new policy, and they’ll generate $300,000 in it from revenue.”

Cichowicz broke in with a reverberating voice, “I am the Lord.”

“Hey, cool! How did you do that?” McDougall asked.

Cichowicz proudly reminded his co-hosts and the viewers that on Evanston community cable, they operate their own sound.

Another lull hit. Binder remembered that he read about a Halloween costume shop in Los Angeles that sold a “Kung Fool” mask that had an Asian face distorted into a monster-like creature. Binder said the mask angered many Asian-American groups, and the costume was pulled from store shelves.

“Everyone takes things too seriously these days,” said Binder. “Halloween is all about making fun of people. People need to get thicker skin and a sense of humor.”

Cichowicz said the Asian-American groups were justified in being offended by the masks.

“You can’t mock an ethnic or cultural group,” he said. “What would you say if there was a mask of an African-American with caricatured big lips and a monkey-like face?”

“Hmm … or what about a costume mocking people from a certain area, say the South?” argued Binder as Cichowicz adjusted his fake knocked-out teeth.

‘Free to discuss’

Although this discussion of racism was not on the deepest of levels, Bartlebaugh said he sees worth in the fact that the discussion took place.

He said that the directors of cable access television often shudder at the “Wayne’s World”s of cable access, but they see benefit in the shows that do make a difference in the community.

“In the ’80s, when AIDS was extremely taboo, cable access shows dared to talk about the controversy because they had no one to answer to,” Bartlebaugh said. “They were and are free to discuss whatever they choose. I enjoy being able to give people the opportunity to express themselves. I don’t really care how well-produced a show is. I just get a kick out of seeing people progress from when they first came in.”

Zvonko Ranogajec is an example of such progress. Bartlebaugh remembered when Ranogajec first went out with a camera, most of what he shot was the ground. But Ranogajec has improved incredibly, Bartlebaugh said.

“On Sept. 11, 2001, when all of network television was too awed to do anything, Zvonko went out into Evanston with a camera and did a man-in-the-street type thing, getting the reaction of local people, how they felt,” Bartlebaugh said. “No one else did that. It was very courageous and something that only cable access shows offer. He went on to present some of his footage at the Arts Week Evanston later that year. It was amazing.”

‘Back next week’

The “Polarity Live” three went on to debate politics, local and national. As the hour came to an end, McDougall yelled for the crew of one to “put the damn credits on.”

Her request was a bit premature. Five minutes were left.

The three of them spent the final moments of the show debating when it should end and whose clock was correct.

Cichowicz asked me if I wanted to get on camera. I respectfully declined.

“All right, folks, well, Jaime doesn’t want to be on the show, so if we read this article and we don’t sound so good, you all know what are next show is going to be: The Jaime Sucks Show.”

“That was a cheap joke,” McDougall said.

“Yeah, well this is a cheap show,” Cichowicz responded.

All three laughed as Cichowicz closed with, “Happy Halloween, and we’ll be back next week — if we’re in the mood.”

‘An intelligent outlet’

After the monitor went black, the three stood up and offered comments like, “Not so bad,” and, “I wonder why Jeanie didn’t call in tonight.”

They continued to chat as they cleaned the filming room and packed up their own camera equipment.

These three had no illusions about their show being professional — or even good.

“I do this show because I find it to be an intelligent outlet,” Binder said. “Anyone can come in and say whatever they want …”

“Except no porn,” Cichowicz interjected. “After 10 p.m. the station allows anything but porn. I’ve even launched a few f-bombs on the show. And sure, people complain, but this is my show and I can say whatever I want.

“When people call in and say we are rude or wrong or whatever, it doesn’t bother me at all,” he said. “We don’t always say the right thing or the politically correct thing. But at least we speak our minds. The people that anger me are the ones who aren’t even willing to share.” nyou