To close the quarter, I thought a game of 20 questions might be in order. I only had room for 16, but I think you get the idea. Here are some final things to think and talk about:
1. How can people on campus be tired of discussing race relations, yet oh-so-eager to continue the big cow debate?
2. Why do Northwestern students treat the SAGA workers like their hired help? Is a “please” or a “thank you” that painful to muster? Would you rather make your own damn burger, stir fry or burrito?
3. When we grow old and have kids, are all the pot smokers on campus gonna sell out and perpetuate the false propaganda that criminalizes marijuana?
4. Why does a third-grade classroom have more frequent, more intelligent and more original student input than most discussion sections at NU?
5. Why don’t more NU professors make us think and not just regurgitate their own scholarly opinions and interpretations? If you too are tired of this, try one of the following profs: Mary Pattillo McCoy (sociology), Abe Peck (journalism), Mary Weismantel (anthropology), Lane Fenrich (history), Christopher Larkosh (“Hispanic” studies) or Jacob Kinnard (religion) … oh, wait, why are the latter two leaving us?
6. As our friend Bob once asked, “How long shall they kill our prophets, while we stand aside and look?”
7. Love her or hate her, don’t we all miss the columns of Amanda “Baddest Bitch” Holman?
8. Would the men of Phi Delta Theta have been kicked off campus if they had the connections Sigma Chi does? How often do people break the law and get a slap on the wrist just because they have big money and big names?
9. Did you know the FBI once tapped the Black House’s phone?
10. If we’re all so interested in diversity on campus, then why don’t more “outsiders” visit the Black House and the Multicultural Center or attend the cultural groups’ programming? Try “Los Vendidos” tonight (7 p.m.) at Shanley.
11. Why do we keep whining about our weak men’s basketball and football teams, but we continuously ignore our successful women’s swimming and tennis teams.
12. When will women stop squatting over the toilet? Are they talented enough to avoid touching a filthy seat, but too stupid to realize they’re the ones who piss all over the seat to begin with?
13. How did Cuban refugee Elian Gonzalez become an instant celebrity when thousands of Haitians are shipped off every year without notice?
14. Do you remember when television was still in color? I’m talking “In Living Colour,” “Martin,” “The Cosby Show,” “A Different World,” “Family Matters,” even “Good Times” and “The Jeffersons.”
15. How dare David Gutmann call the NSTV girls vulgar when he uses disgusting, offensive expressions like “victim babble” and “Take Back the Hymen?” Did he attend the same professor sensitivity training as Prof. William Irons, who claimed Spanish is only useful when communicating with your gardeners?
16. We have The Cure’s “Friday I’m in Love,” Chicago’s “Saturday in the Park,” U2’s “Sunday Bloody Sunday, ” and the Bangles’ “Manic Monday.” Can somebody give me a song for Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday?
Thanks for reading.
