2017 Holiday Guide

Hey, parents, family and friends: Congratulations! Your Wildcat has almost completed Fall Quarter at Northwestern! You may or may not have seen them at Thanksgiving, and you may or may not see them during Winter Break, but here’s an incomplete list of everything you probably (definitely) shouldn’t ask if you value their sanity.

1. Are you really ready for the cold? I heard this winter’s going to be bad! (Yes, we know. And we are bracing ourselves.)
2. How are your grades? (Only ask this if you’re looking for a pained grunt and/or torrent of tears.)
3. Why do you look so tired? Are you sleeping enough? (No –– now let me nap in peace.)
4. Anything related to their love life. (Nope, nope. Don’t even go there. Seriously.)
5. Politics, politics, politics. (This one is a given –– if you want to eat that ham in peace, you better not bring this up.)
6. You’re really pursuing (insert major name)? You know, (insert career name) really don’t make that much money. (We are already painfully aware of this. Please don’t remind us.)
7. Are you still friends with so-and-so? (If we don’t talk about this person, there’s probably a reason.)
8. Have you been exercising? (No, SPAC is like 20 minutes away and I am a lazy piece of garbage.)
9. Who are you living with next year? Where are you living next year? How much is the rent? (Next year? I don’t even know what I’m doing tomorrow…)
10. What are you doing this summer? Do you have any internships lined up? (The pile of rejection emails in my inbox can answer that one for you.)
11. Did you register for Dance Marathon? (Check my cover photo.)
12. Why do you never call us anymore? (OK, this one is fine to ask. Keep your Wildcat accountable!)

College is hard –– don’t make it harder by asking your Wildcat unnecessary questions. So zip your lips, sip that eggnog, light that fire and spread some holiday cheer!

Email: [email protected]
Twitter: @jakeholland97