There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who plan out their Halloween costumes five months in advance down to the tiniest detail, and those who look at their calendars and realize, “HOLY GHOST, IT’S HALLOWEEN. WHAT THE HECK AM I GOING TO WEAR?!” For those of you in the latter group, fret not: I’ve got your back. No dressing up as a cat (every girl and her mother is a cat for Halloween). No pulling a “Risky Business” and borrowing your neighbor’s button-down shirt and tie. The other half of the population will be judging your clearly last-minute costume if you do.

With these quick and easy costumes, you’ll seem highly creative without losing your dignity.

For the puny: Fork in the Road

You will need: Masking tape, a fork and a black T-shirt.

First, take the masking tape and cut two strips about a foot in length and stick them on the shirt vertically, about 5 inches apart. Then, in the gap between the two strips, add 3 to 4-inch long pieces (like you’re making the dotted line in the middle of the road). Take your fork and tape in the middle of the road and voila! A fork in the road! Hardy har har…

For the laziest: Nudist on strike

You will need: A normal outfit, cardboard, a pencil, tape and a Sharpie.

Possibly the easiest costume yet. First, just dress per usual. Then, using your handy Sharpie, think like an angry nudist and create a protest sign on the cardboard. Your slogan may be creative or simply read, “Nudist on strike!” Last but not least, tape your sign onto a pencil (to hold it up) and get ready to protest for your cause!

For the goofballs: Bill Cosby

You will need: A funky sweater, a printer, tape and a pencil.

Remember that retro sweater you bought thrift shopping that you’ve always wanted to wear but never had the right opportunity? Here’s your chance! Print out a picture of Bill Cosby’s face on a full sheet of paper, cut it out and tape it to your pencil as a facemask. (If you have string, punch holes on each side and make it a tie-on mask instead!) Put on that primary color-printed sweater and get ready to say, “Zip zop zoobity bop!” all night long.

For the devious: Identity theft

You will need: A black T-shirt, name labels and a Sharpie. (Black beanie optional but highly recommended!)

Take a big stack of name labels and begin writing random names (not your name!) on as many as you can. Samantha, Veronica, Harrison, Thomas, Carmen … When you have about 20 or more ready to go, start sticking them all over your black shirt. Slip on your black beanie, or maybe a black hoodie, and sneak around the party threatening to steal people’s identities (even though you have so many already!).

For the poor souls walking from South Campus up to North Campus frat parties: Onion Eskimo

You will need: Anything and everything.

Put on all of the clothes in your closet. When I say all, I mean all. Layer on those sweaters and jackets; wear pants under your pants. The more scarves you pile on, the better! Keep adding layers until you feel like Violet Beauregarde, and you’re ready to begin your trek. When you start getting too toasty, just start peeling off those layers like the Onion Eskimo you always knew you wanted to be.

Happy Halloween!