Well, it’s almost that time of the year again. For many, Dillo Day is the the last chance to be completely escandaloso with friends at NU before some of us prepare for a heaping spoonful of the real world via graduation/work or spending the summer Northwasted.
While it’s wonderful that Northwestern just joined a consortium focused on remedying binge drinking, the reality remains: NU students and others won’t stop going bonkers on St. Patrick’s Day, at Lollapalooza, Dillo Day or any other outdoor festival where people feel the need to get absolutely trashed and act completely foolish.
So it won’t do me any good to wag my finger at anyone for Dillo-like shenanigans. Look at it this way – it’s better to discuss how best to prepare yourself rather than be caught off guard or just sweep the issue under the rug. It’s almost like naively shutting off discussions about sex and sexuality – then, again, the NU powers that be seem to be good at that. But even though Dillo is less than a week away, it’s never too early to be prepared. Here are a few good things to keep in mind.
1. Know where the free food is at: Seriously, it isn’t worth anyone’s time to wait forever at BK, Taco Bell or D&D when you’re hungry or attempting to sober up. Go fetch free pancakes in the a.m. near Jacobs Center, or the free pizza lunch on the Lakefill, or whatever free grub-offering a random group has that day. Or, for a sure fire way to avoid headaches about food, stock up on all the junk food your heart desires beforehand.
2. Good privacy filters on Facebook: Mommy dearest, Aunt Polly, your supervisor from two internships ago and all your other random Facebook ‘friends’ don’t need to see pictures or videos of you slurring the words to songs, wearing beer goggles or wearing shorts that make you Google ‘yeast infection’. Keep it clean and save some future headaches. Be on guard to press the ‘untag’ button otherwise if your friends are particularly camera happy.
3. A good pair of sunglasses and sunscreen: Whether you get the ones with the neon plastic frames or some stunna shades, these come in handy if you’re irritated by the sun in your eyes looking at the stage or you need help ignoring stupid people. Also, guys, you’re not doing yourself any favors looking like something that came from underneath a KFC heating lamp. Ladies, I’m sure you’d rather not have your back look like Princess Beatrice’s hat for a week. So, do yourself a favor and fetch some sunscreen. Even though the current forecast is in the 60’s with a chance of rain, you’re better safe than having your skin scale and peel for a week.
4. A mental ‘bathroom map’: This’ll help you avoid pissing off (pun intended) Evanston residents who’d rather you not take a dump in their flower beds or puke inside their bird houses. Do us a favor and not give Gawker any more material. Know where the restrooms are in case you need to head to the loo for whatever reason. Remember where you live, make note of buildings on campus with available bathrooms or even take advantage of the port-a-johns near the big stage. But, for crying out loud, don’t be sleazy and “get busy” in those nasty things…
5. A really good stank face: Listen, someone is bound to say or do something that will totally get on your nerves on a day where it’s hot, you’ve been walking around all day and people around you are pretty trashed. Instead of letting your frustration build up to going Björk style and roughing ‘em up like a Thai reporter or wasting your voice on cursing them out instead of shouting the words to “Airplanes” off key, you can take my advice on this one. Squint your eyebrows, raise and tighten your upper lip, drop your jaw, flare your nostrils, tense your neck and, for some bonus points, tilt and turn your head for a little side eye. And then hold that for a bit. Now, practice that and keep it in your back pocket for those especially disturbing people you have to deal with.
6. An alarm clock and a disco nap: Dillo Day is a marathon, not a sprint. For a day as epic as Dillo, you’ll need your energy! It would be a total shame if you ended up dragging through the day after an early start. A short mid-day nap – preferably during an act Mayfest booked that you couldn’t give two craps about – is a good way to keep you refreshed and on your toes. Drink some water and munch on a good snack beforehand. But, please, only combine this tactic with an alarm clock or by the time you wake up, B.o.B will have already flown away. And remember to set that clock to p.m., not a.m.. No more than an hour, okay? Use your cell phone’s alarm for back-up.
7. Blissful ignorance: For the people who shun alcohol, other mind altering substances and loud music, you can have a fun Dillo Day too, but I imagine you’ll want to steer clear of wasted foolishness – or just pretend it doesn’t surround you. There is hope. You can study for your finals like responsible young adults or play board games with friends. At night, you can soundproof yourself with earphones like a pageant contestant and pretend you’re somewhere other than where you are. Day trips into Chicago are also a very realistic option, too – and then even you can find out what it’s really like to ride the Red Line from Howard to 95th!
8. A trusted cohort: In all seriousness, take care of yourselves and each other. Having good people you trust around you during Dillo can help you a) look at your life and your choices, b) avoid you from doing something that’ll get you fined, imprisoned or hospitalized, c) make sure you get home safe, d) have a safe place to crash, e) look after you if (by your own lack of self-care or accident) you get really sick. That and you’ll just have a much better time if you share it with friends – old and new.
I’d be curious to know what you’d – seriously – add to this list and feel free to tweet those to me. But, as I wait for some poor soul (or official) so deeply offended enough by this to write a Letter to the Editor, I’ll wish you in advance a great Dillo and an even greater summer.
Derrick Clifton is a Communication junior. He can be reached at [email protected].
Illustration by Alice Liu.
