It’s tough being a fan. It’s tougher being a Northwestern fan.

I was 7 years old when I attended my first NU football game. I wanted to come to school in Evanston mainly to continue cheering for the Wildcats. But I have observed more heartbreak watching the Cats in 14 years than most fans of teams have in a lifetime.Sports fans are crazy, superstitious, irrational, delusional and passionate all in one. We sit and watch games that we don’t control and then let a win or loss affect our mood. Our elation after big victories can match that of a momentous life event, like the birth of a child.

Our mourning of a devastating loss can be so all-consuming it mirrors losing a loved one. But sports fans have an unequivocal ability to use sports as a way to realize that there is always tomorrow, there is always next week. And as Cubs fans, we have learned to know there is always next year. For every moment that makes us hang our heads in dismay, there’s a moment to stand up and cheer, to high five and hug strangers. We may be delusional, but it doesn’t take much to give us a thrill.

Sports fans are like everyone else-we remember the losses as much as we do the wins. I won’t forget the feeling of my heart sinking when Illinois’ Demetri McCamey’s jumper fell through the net against NU in 2009, turning what could have been a memorable upset into a depressing night. I can tell you where I stood when I got a text message from my sister while on NU’s Catalyst program telling me the Cats had lost to Duke in 2007.

Then there was this year’s Outback Bowl-the most crushing loss I have experienced for any team I have ever followed. As a broadcaster for WNUR that day, I removed my headset and buried my head in my hands when Zeke Markshausen was shoved out of bounds, just two measly yards from NU’s first bowl victory in over 60 years.

As much as the losses will never leave my memory, a win will go down as one of my greatest moments in college. Again, the irrationality of a sports fan-my greatest time at NU came while watching other people play a sport. In a football game the Cats didn’t even need to win against Wisconsin, they played their best game I had seen in four years. It was thrilling from start to finish, and when the clock hit zero and NU had pulled off an upset victory 33-31, I rushed onto the field and celebrated with my friends. They were my friends dating back to the first week of school, and in our final game as students we hugged, sang the fight song and savored victory.

For all the heartbreak I experienced with the Cats, I have witnessed just as many incredible moments. The devastating losses will happen, but we sports fans don’t give up easily. I’m going to miss sitting in the student sections at Ryan Field and at Welsh-Ryan Arena, thinking our efforts as a student body could possibly will our teams to victory. I’m going to miss opportunities to rush the field or storm the court. And I’m really going to miss taunting opposing players, coaches and fans from the student sections.

But that’s just another beauty in the world of being a sports fan. Yes, I’m graduating from NU next month and leaving a University that has meant so much to me. But I will continue cheering for the Cats as long as I live. As tough as it may be to be a fan, I get to keep purple inside me no matter where my life takes me.Sports Columnist Kevin Fishbain is a Medill senior. He can be reached at [email protected].