I was in the Great Room, impatiently awaiting Ask Big Questions, thinking more about the fact that I was hungry than the topic, “How does our concept of God affect the world?” At the moment, sushi sounded more filling than spirituality. As a friend and I sat alone at a long table, I wondered if dinner and homework had taken precedence over a discussion about God.

I have not been a religious person in a very long time. Maybe I never was, but going to Catholic school your entire life makes it hard to contemplate a religious identity outside of the one carved out for you five days a week, 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. So I dutifully went to Mass on Tuesday mornings, sang in the church choir and received confirmation. Despite this, religion did not seem to have a place in my life, though it was a huge part of my daily activities. I thought there had to be something bigger than me, but the rules, the standards and the expectations seemed too restraining to fit an idea I had no words for.

Then people came in, and soon we were sitting with 15 people. We headed to a classroom in Seabury-Western Theological Seminary and tried to enter the classroom building through the doors immediately outside the Great Room with no such luck. We tried another set. Again, no luck.

The Associate University Chaplain, Reverend Wendy Mathewson, who moderated the event, laughed and asked if this were a metaphor for organized religion. I laughed. I thought it was.

Eventually the group made it to a small classroom where we sat in a poorly-shaped circle of desks. The windows were painted with a mural, and the chalkboard seemed unnaturally green for a classroom. On the left side, a sign was taped to the board that read, “Strongly Agree” and on the right, “Strongly Disagree.”

Mathewson began the evening with questions, having us align ourselves along the chalkboard spectrum. Everyone, for the most part, congregated together.

“Do Americans’ concept of God affect our culture?” Shift to the left.

“Is there a correlation between religion and political views?” Some stray to the middle. Most don’t budge.

“Is there a correlation between my own religion and my political views?” People spread out along the spectrum.

The crazy conservatives were the religious zealots. The lefty liberals were the atheists. But that obviously did not describe us. Judging from the disbursement of people, some did not see their religious and political views as completely related. I certainly did not see myself in the boxes I imposed on other people.

The conversation was intelligent, thoughtful … and completely tame. Religion is supposed to be this polarizing conversation, something we don’t talk about in polite society. When we do have these discussions, we tread lightly, cautious not to step on toes.

“Why is religion so taboo?” “Why is there a fear of dialogue?” One student responded that it’s easier to talk about these issues with people who already share your worldview. We want to avoid conflict. Another student suggested we don’t want to be proven wrong. But here we were, discussing God and religion in a respectful way, breaking the taboo.

Yet it’s one thing to just ask the big questions, and it’s another to try to answer them. There are no clear and exact answers, but there is no value in just asking the questions as passionately as you can. But this was not a theological debate. This was about God and religion as concepts and their effect on our interactions with the world. I guess I wanted some drama.

I do believe in intelligent and respectful discourse, but to work out these tensions among believers and non-believers, I think we have to be willing to get good and angry and put all our cards on the table before we can solve anything.