They are everywhere. On your television sets, the big screen, bookshelves and even in the grocery store checkout aisle… and they are out for our consumer blood. I’m talking about the un-dead debutantes, the blood-sucking beauty queens, the fang-bearing friends next door. They are vampires, and they’ve become the biggest thing in pop culture since a boy with a lightning bolt scar was whisked away to Hogwarts.
The mania all started with Stephanie Meyer’s book series Twilight. It’s a classic love story. Boy meets girl. Boy wants to bite girl’s neck, and not in a good way. There is also the Vampire Diaries by L.J. Smith and the new CW television show with the same name. HBO even takes a bite out of the trend with “True Blood.”
And. It. Is. Driving. Me. Crazy. I understand the vampire appeal; they’re dark, mysterious, sexy and dangerous. But this has spun out of control. Any trend attracting an audience of diehard Miley Cyrus fans immediately loses its sense of danger no matter how much blood you trickle on it.
I have to admit, not proudly, I have read all of the Twilight books and seen the movie. It’s a lot like eating movie theater popcorn: You aren’t sure why you are eating the buttery mess, but you can’t stop until you finish the bag. Afterward, you’re sick to your stomach and wondering how you let yourself get that far.
That’s the thing about vampires; they are totally consuming. In all of the vampire stories the young doe-eyed protagonist knows what she is doing is dangerous, but she just can’t help herself. Sure, he may want to kill you, but you can be the girl that changes him.And what happened to vampires being scary? The Twilight vampires sparkle in the sunlight, drive sports cars and use too much hair gel. The Vampire Diaries‘ main bloodsucker Stefan Salvatore plays football, loves to cook and watches I Love Lucy. I don’t think Dracula was concerned with how his hair looked.
What’s craziest about the vampire trend is it’s making vampires mainstream. Vampires are supposed to be dark, mysterious creatures living on the fringe of society. The mania has taken all the drama and darkness out of them. I mean, it’s gotten to the point where I want to give Rob Pattinson a hug (and maybe a haircut). If in the end the studly vampire next door really isn’t going to drink your blood then what’s the point?
Vampires have fallen in and out of pop culture over the years. Hopefully the latest vampire resurrection will soon be laid to rest.
