Let’s talk about sex, baby… kinky varieties, that is.

Although I personally feel getting down all by your lonesome is no substitution for some human-to-human contact, it sometimes has to suffice. Or more than suffice, as might be the case for the 47.8 percent of our male respondents who report masturbating 1-3 times per week. By contrast, 46.2 percent of their female counterparts say they’ve never doubleclicked the mouse – really, ladies? It makes perfect sense that around half of men surveyed watch porn 1-3 times per week; most of these occasions probably coincide with the aforementioned deed. Surprisingly, 84.6 percent of girls state they never watch porn. I guess I was the only one intrigued enough to rent Pirates on DVD (just to see what all the hype was about, of course). Once again, NU students are substantially tamer than the national stats on masturbation – Playboy’s College Sex Poll 2009 shows only 9 percent of college students nationwide never masturbate. Hmm… maybe all of us are just having too much sex to need to do it by ourselves. Well, maybe you guys are. At least none of you guys are likely to go blind.

Aside from watching porn and masturbating, which I would not deem as especially daring, 27.9 percent of NU student respondents consider themselves kinky. However, our stats on some of those adventurous sexual acts prove some of you may have overestimated your kinkiness. Only 8.4 percent have had a threesome, around a tenth have videotaped a sexual encounter, and 15.1 percent have role-played or used costumes. Among the straight NU population, 12.2 percent have had anal sex, whereas Playboy reports an astounding 47 percent having tried it. Through what avenue do NU students demonstrate the most kinkiness? Technology, of course; 34.8 percent of respondents have participated in either phone or cyber sex. Let’s hope the government doesn’t start monitoring any of our text messages or tapping our phones – they’d be in for one hell of a show.