The best relationship I ever had was with my cell phone. Time and time again, I always go back. No matter how many times it hurts me. Wow, there goes my credibility. But let me explain.
I recently got out of a serious relationship with a guy from Florida. I was totally heartbroken and had a complete sob-story-saga for anyone within earshot. The one question everyone inevitably asked me was, “How long were you two together?”
I was embarrassed at how short our actual “exclusive” relationship was because it felt like so much longer. We weren’t geographically together but we had our wonderful telephones to keep us connected. We would text each other whenever we were out, whenever we were bored in class, whenever we were sad, mad, happy or just plain wanted to hear from each other.
When I felt my little pink Motorola Razr vibrate in my clutch, I felt that happiness you get when you either really like someone, or you have the perfect number of drinks. I got a “stupid little smirk” on my face (as my ex would later describe it). Oh, it was a great relationship, my phone and I.
It’s easy enough: Boy meets girl, they exchange numbers, and the text messages begin. It’s a casual way to “get to know each other” until, like every other relationship, your constant communication leads to sex.
Sexting: Those naughty little messages you and your beau send to each other are a source of shame no more!
In the August issue of Cosmopolitan magazine, Anna Faris revealed she and her boyfriend sex-text one night a week. Britney Spears expressed her physical love for her phone with her hit song, ‘Phonography.’ And Cosmo also advises women to send their man naughty messages to keep him guessing and give him a treat to look forward to later.
A good friend enlightened me to the secrets of her naughty sext messages with a boy all the way in Colorado. “It keeps me entertained at the bar if it’s a boring night and gives me the same little jolt you get when a new guy comes up to hit on you. It’s exhilarating and no one else has to know,” she said. As an experienced sext-messager, she even sends enticing pictures from her phone, just in case it wasn’t clear.
So, while it’s great that our naughty secrets are no longer a cell phone faux pas, the problem arises in situations like mine. Oh, I followed the steps: cordial, casual texting, to constant updates, to the occasional risque sext message session. But the problem with this relationship is when you actually have to BE with each other. Like, in person. What happens then? Let’s hope your phone acted as the good medium it was supposed to and only brought you and your lover together.
Otherwise, you could end up like me, heartbroken and disappointed over a relationship that was only successful while there was a telephone doing the talking and the sex.
