By Emmet SullivanPLAY Editor

I had a little trouble with the old column ideas this week. I know a lot happened, but I can’t write about the election. First, everyone is talking about it, leaving whatever musings I have relative old. Also, I am a firm believer that the more we talk about the Democratic sweep, the more the terrorists win. Laura Moore also wrote about Britney and K-Fed’s divorce in her column on page nine – I just have to say thank God seven states just banned gay marriage, because the sacredness of unions like this one was at stake. I’ll sleep better tonight.

Instead of focusing on those mundane issues – and seriously, it’s not like either of those things will amount to anything other than K-Fed and Rick Santorum pretty much gone from the public eye for a while – I am going to do what I do best. Poke fun, all out of love, at this great institution and its wonderful students.

We all know Northwestern’s special. We wouldn’t go here if it wasn’t. But it’s that extra special mix of awkwardness, workaholism and a certain lack of passion towards athletics that pushes us into a category of our own.

The latest thing that surprises me about the school is the determination some students have to figure out plans for next summer. You can’t walk around campus without hearing people talk about living in New York next year or applying for that super-cool internship in Kentucky (nothing against Kentucky. I had a pretty good time when I drove through there when I was nine).

Pushed out of apathy by my more organized peers, I’m now trying to figure out my plans for next summer. Normally I don’t care past this weekend, but everyone around me seems to be applying for internships already, and so I have to pretend to get on top of things yet again.

I’m thinking the best thing I could do is pull a Borat and go to Kazakhstan and film me interviewing Kazakhs and making them look all crazy. Reverse psychology their asses, you know? But there’s a clear impediment here, and that’s I don’t own a video camera (nuts to not being in the incoming Medill class).

Next option is to win the global title of Ultimate Trendsetter. Everyone’s doing the gay thing now (Doogie Howser just came out? Didn’t that happen like 15 years ago? ), so clearly I have to start a new trend. If 2005 was the year of the metrosexual, and 2006 was the year of the gay, 2007 is going to be the year of the…really fricking gay. I still have a few months to figure out what that means, but I got a starting point.

And maybe I should take offensive training classes. Because I think as the weeks go on I just get worse and worse. Get excited for the bang I’m going out with next week.

One final note about the election: I am extremely excited that we get four more years of Blago’s hair.

Medill junior Emmet Sullivan is the PLAY editor. He can be reached at [email protected].