By Laura MoorePLAY Writer

There are a lot of old adages that discourage us from quitting things. “Quitters never win and winners never quit.” “He who quits and runs away will live to quit another day.” You’ve heard them all and they’ve guilted you into staying in youth league soccer for one more season even though you haven’t scored a goal in five years (admit it, that totally happened to you too).

But why does quitting have to have such a stigma attached to it? I think people should be lauded for knowing when it’s time to throw in the towel. Can’t we all agree that there’s nothing sadder than someone who trudges on in the face of blatant sucking. Riddle me this – if Kevin Federline were to abandon the rap game tomorrow, would we assail him for quitting? I doubt it.

K-Fed is the poster boy for making quitting OK. Oddly enough, this is because he refuses to let his dreams of rap superstardom die. I have literally never seen an “artist” as reviled as the K-Fed, and that was before his album dropped. He is a joke in the music industry, and not like a Hammer/Vanilla Ice joke. Hammer and Vanilla both had success and made bank before they hit rock bottom. Kevin started at rock bottom and hasn’t moved up, which is pretty embarrassing for someone without a crippling drug problem.

K-Fed has explored every avenue for self-promotion. From performing at the Teen Choice Awards to doing a guest spot on “CSI” to marrying and impregnating Britney Spears – the man is a pro at getting his name (and sperm) out. He even went on “WWE Raw” and got body slammed by some huge dude all for the sake of his craft. I didn’t see it because I have a few shreds of dignity left, but I read that it was all kinds of degrading. I’m pretty sure getting booed by wrestling fans is one notch above being a convicted sex offender.

In spite of all this promotion K-Fed has had to cancel shows on his upcoming tour due to lack of ticket sales. Why? Because America doesn’t give a shit about Kevin Federline: Artist. He is the man who single-handedly made Britney fat and undesirable to the masses. We all want to see him fail. But is this going to stop the Federbeast? No way! He takes a licking and keeps on ticking. And by ticking, I mean making a mockery of hip hop music.

In light of this, I would like to propose a change in the way we view people who quit things. Let us look at them as proud members of society who know when enough is enough. As for those people who muddle through despite overwhelming evidence that they should indeed just quit, let us call them the name they rightfully deserve. Federlines.4

Medill senior Laura Moore is a PLAY pop culture columnist. She can be reached at [email protected].