By Laura MoorePLAY Columnist

This past Thursday night I got into what was perhaps one of the biggest arguments I’ve ever had with my roommates. The issue had nothing to do with our apartment, politics, religion or any other debate-worthy standby. Rather, it concerned a matter much more controversial and of greater importance: Is Jack Nicholson “doable”?

This came up because I had recently purchased the latest issue of “Rolling Stone” featuring Jack on the cover with the line “Secrets of the Great Seducer” and convinced myself the answer was yes. My roommates were quick to vomit a little in their mouths and then point out that Jack is 69 years old and undoubtedly has “old-man balls.”

While I conceded to both of their points, I think they were overlooking Jack’s biggest appeal. He is known as “The Great Seducer”! His reputation as a man-whore has made him a legend and that is nothing if not sexy (and even admirable).

Sadly, Jack is the last of a dying breed. The slutty ways of the famous were once a mark of greatness. JFK, Madonna, Warren Beatty, Marilyn Monroe: all legends, thanks in part to promiscuity. They wore their sexuality as a badge of honor, like particularly libertine Boy Scouts. Today, however, these champions of wantonness are dead or in monogamous relationships or writing Kabbalah-inspired children’s books (as opposed to sex books featuring nudie pics with Vanilla Ice, *cough cough*, Madonna).

Sluttiness these days garners no such accolades. No one will bestow on Lindsay Lohan the title of being a great seducer. Colin Farrell gets called gross as much as he’s called sexy and Paris Hilton’s skankery recently earned her a punch in the face courtesy of the drummer from Blink 182’s estranged wife. To be a slut (male or female) in today’s society is to be an object of derision rather than veneration.

There are a lot of things to blame for the fall of the respectable Hollywood tart. Reality TV, the Internet and Howard Stern are just a few, and I fear we’ve gotten to a place where class will never again be associated with sluttiness. When Screech is getting props for making a sex tape (tentatively titled Saved by the Smell) it’s clear we’ve reached the point of no return. Paris dancing on tables and photos of Nicole Richie canoodling with some dude at Pure in Vegas have forever replaced the exciting rumors and whispers of the Tinseltown partiers of yore, and I think it’s worth mourning.

So while you may agree with my roommates that Jack Nicholson is past his “use by” date (which I can’t really blame you for), it’s important to at least accept that he and his lothario reputation should be appreciated. Sometimes you have to look past the old balls and see the man that’s using them.

Medill senior Laura Moore is a PLAY pop culture columnist. She can be reached at [email protected].