Will Reichel is a Speech senior. He can be reached at [email protected]. |
Dear God:
The way I see it, you’ve been good to me.
I have a Catholic father and a Jewish mother. I feel guilty a lot and I talk about it too much, but I have my bases covered. So when people stop me on my way to class to hand me spiritual enlightenment on a flier, I decline politely.
People go lots of places to feel close to You down here; Sheridan Road outside Kellogg doesn’t strike me as an especially holy one, but hey: Live and let live.
I didn’t even punch that kid who told me “you damn Jews killed my Christ” when I was a freshman. I just kicked him and hid behind a tree.
So you might be wondering: If I’m so content, then why did I skip out on the Jewish New Year this weekend for the first time in my life? Well, God, I still believe in you.
I’m just confused about some things. And I needed to take a step back.
It’s like this: I always thought the whole “Thou Shalt Not Kill” idea was a stroke of genius. How stupid I feel now that I’ve grown a bit older, and I never knew there was a disclaimer!
Take our brothers and sisters in the Middle East; they’ve known about the fine print for ages.
They know that the land there is so holy they have to spill blood all over it to keep it sacred.
I guess that’s one way to get closer to You: Get shot.
Now it looks like we might have another part of the Holy War on our hands.
In the 1940s, the Jews needed a home state after the Holocaust and went to reclaim their sacred land. But in doing so, they evacuated and killed masses of Palestinians and drove them off their holy land. Then everyone started killing everyone else, and true faith went M.I.A.
Their beliefs come equipped with rocks, guns, grenades, bombs and sometimes tanks. When it’s all over, maybe they toast You with Molotov cocktails.
I dunno, God. Doesn’t it ever get Your goat that we’re the ones who’re supposed to be made in your image, but there’re millions of us who keep making You over in ours?
You’re the ready-made excuse for anything: A divine license to kill.
It must be frustrating. There You are, coaching hundreds of teams that are all playing against each other, and almost no one is playing by Your rules. They don’t even have rules anymore.
Where were the rules for Mohammed Aldura? He was small only 12 years old so You might not have seen him on Headline News. Last week, he and his father were pinned down behind a concrete pipe during a rain of Holy Fire.
Now everyone is trying to figure out whose fault it is that he died. The first answer: an Israeli soldier.
But there were millions of other hands on that trigger. And hundreds of years loaded that gun.
And they all did it because everyone loves You so much! Hallelujah!
I imagine even All Knowing, All Powerful deities need a break sometimes. So maybe You still believe in us. Maybe You just have a lot to think about and just need a rest.
But You know, we need your help.
P.S. Please send my regards to Your prophet, Mike Royko.