“I do my own tweets. If Martha makes a typo, they think I’m drunk.” — Martha Stewart, at The MAKERS Conference in Ranchos Palos Verdes, Calif.

“Why do all the people who post ‘cute cat videos’ on YouTube edit creepy music over the videos? Ruins my cute cat watching enjoyment.” — Olivia Munn, on Twitter

“I just wished someone a ‘Happy VD’ and then realized that could be interpreted a few ways… #HappyValentinesDay” — Jessica Biel, on Twitter

“What did the the digital clock say to the grandfather clock? Look grandpa! No hands! #ClassicJokeWednesday” — Ellen DeGeneres, on Twitter

Email: [email protected]
Twitter: @ericawitte