Greetings and salutations, Wildcats. I have returned to you, as I always do, eager to address your sexual needs (in a non-physical way).

What is the etiquette of dorm room sex?

Eek. OK. Necessary disclaimer: I don’t exactly have the cleanest track record with this one, but I still think I can answer it for you. Remember those roommate forms you had to fill out at the beginning of the year where you checked off things you could and couldn’t do? It was silly and maybe a little awkward to fill out. I think there’s even a section for “overnight guests.” But you’ve already done this, I’m aware. The reason I bring it up is because you and your roommate need to have the conversation this form was trying to get you to have. You need to communicate both what you’re expecting and what you’re comfortable with. If you’re planning on bedding a new person every night, you should put that out there (and also maybe go to their place sometimes instead). If the idea of sex happening in your room gives you hives, put that out there too (Good luck with that, though.). It might be a little icky, but you need to talk this out so there are no surprises. Nobody wants a wrathful roommate on their hands.

I would definitely suggest giving your roommate at least a day’s notice in advance if you want the room for the whole night so he or she has time to plan accordingly. The classic sock on the door (or some other code) for impromptu hook-ups can also work but tends to have a higher risk of getting walked in on. In general, I would just say keeping in communication is key here. (Are you shocked? I never talk about communication.) A simple “I’m having sex, call me if you need to get in” text can go a long way. This lets your roommate know you’re willing to work with his or her schedule. Plus, 99 percent of the time after receiving that text — as long as your roommate’s not sexiled every day — there will simply be a winky face, rather than a request for the room back.

I feel weird about sexting, but the guy I’m hooking up with is always asking for pictures. Is there a right way to do it?

First of all, you shouldn’t do anything with which you feel uncomfortable. If by “weird,” you mean, “This is exciting and new and I feel nervous about it!” then totally try and figure out a way to sext that makes you comfortable. But if you mean, “I’m so uncomfortable that the thought of sexting makes me queasy,” then you don’t need to read beyond this paragraph. Also, if you’ve told him repeatedly you don’t want to and he’s still nagging you, maybe you should consider hooking up with someone else.

But if sexting is something you are actually interested in trying, then here’s what I’ll say. I have had a very on-and-off relationship with sexting. Initially, it was something I never wanted to do. It was risky and I didn’t think I could ever be sure that an image would be viewed only by the person for which it was meant. My standard reply whenever asked was, “Sorry, I don’t do that. How about the real thing instead?” But when you suddenly find yourself in a long-distance relationship, it seems like a much better idea. And after that experience of long-distance sexting, it became a lot less scary. It also helped that the guy I was with never pushed it and he had my complete and utter trust.

Maybe start off with sexting free of pictures. Ever talk dirty? Sexting dirty talk is actually a lot easier because you get time to think and edit before saying it. Saying what you want him to do to you or what you want to do to him is a pretty standard way to start. Then you can just go on from there. If and only if you find yourself OK with that level of sexting and are completely comfortable with this guy should you escalate to pictures.

Hope I helped, humans. Email me anything — literally anything — at [email protected].