My new boyfriend and I just started having sex about two weeks ago and it is awesome, but he hasn’t made me orgasm yet. And believe me, we have tried. Help!

Sometimes reaching the big O can be hard for ladies, so take control of your own orgasm. This means if you need more foreplay than you’re getting (women typically need about 20 minutes before they are really ready to go, according to Cosmopolitan), then tell your partner. The good guys will trade the wait for the great payoff. And an extra bonus, according to Women’s Health, if he can get you to orgasm during foreplay, chances are he will be able to get you to orgasm during sex.

Pay attention to your clitoris, which can be stimulated by the girl-on-top position, or manually by you or your boy toy. “Although the G-spot gets a lot of press for being your erotic epicenter, it’s the clitoris that packs the most pleasurable punch for you during sex,” according to Cosmopolitan.

It’s also important to remember not to stress out about the orgasm during sex. Focus on guiding him to what feels best for you. Ultimately, though, you both need to realize that communication is key in reaching the big O, and as a new couple you are in the position to either develop a good pattern of communication or doom your sex life by not saying anything. Tell him what you like and steer him away from what you don’t, and you should be able to get to that oh-so-important O in no time.

Emma is a sexual health reporter and a Medill sophomore. Send her your sex questions at [email protected].