My boyfriend wants to try anal sex, but I’m too scared. What do I need to know about it before saying OK?

Before you go for it, there are a few things you should know. According to Cosmopolitan, “Unlike the vagina, the anus is not super-elastic or self-lubricating. Therefore, to enjoy anal sex, you need to take it really slowly and use plenty of water-based lubricant.” You should be totally relaxed and comfortable before your dealing with your boyfriend’s little soldier. Since your sphincter muscles – the ones that surround your anal opening – aren’t used to having anything put in them, they will automatically tighten when anything tries to come inside. It’s also really important that you follow good hygiene rules when it comes to anal sex. Anything that is going into the butt needs to be washed well, as does anything going from the butt to the vagina.

Obviously, use your best judgement with anal sex. It should be done with someone who you trust, and most importantly, with someone who is disease-free. Transmission of the HPV virus via anal sex is a very real possibility, which could lead to anal cancer in rare scenarios.

Most importantly, if you’re still feeling worried and don’t 100 percent want to do it – don’t. Even though your boyfriend may be fixated on your bum, there are still plenty of other adventurous things you can try instead if you’re not totally up for it!

Emma is a sexual health reporter and a Medill sophomore.

Send her your sex questions at [email protected].