Content warning: This story contains mention of sexual assault and drugging.

My name is Tess Ballis and I am a sophomore here at Northwestern. This was my first choice, my early decision, my dream school. I thought this was an institution I respected, one that would challenge me appropriately and support me in my endeavors. Like any institution, there are going to be mistakes or actions I disagree with, and I understand that; humans and their products are flawed, and I never put NU on a pedestal or expected perfection. Frankly, however, I feel deeply disappointed and unsafe after the school’s response to last week’s reports of alleged non-consensual drugging, particularly in the inadequacy of Counseling and Psychological Services. This is not simply a mistake or a bad call. This is endangerment.

As a sexual assault survivor and a woman, I know I am one of many, many students who takes precautions, like not walking home alone, carrying my keys between my knuckles, sharing my location with friends and not letting others pour or hold any sort of beverage for me. This was not enough to protect me. It was not enough to protect other students. With my past, finding out this weekend’s news was extremely distressing and I badly needed support. I was hesitant to schedule an appointment with CAPS, since when I was struggling last year with post-traumatic stress disorder from my own assault, there were no available appointments for over four weeks.

Still, I knew I needed to talk to someone this week, and CAPS was the only option available through the University. On Friday, I clicked on the link to CAPS sent out in the crime notice, and there were no available appointments at all. On Saturday, I tried again, and still there were none. On Monday, I tried again and found one single appointment in two weeks, which I could not accept due to my class schedule. I know that I am not the only one who has tried to schedule an appointment this week and been unable to. My friends are feeling extremely anxious and vulnerable right now, as I’m sure many students are. We need resources. We need basic counseling services.

NU is a prestigious school with a large endowment and proud alumni, as well as a high-pressure environment where incidences of drug abuse and assault do happen. It is unfathomable that we do not have adequate counseling or psychological services, especially in the wake of this week’s horrifying reports. NU, your students are afraid. The crime notices claim that our health and safety is the top priority, but they are not being treated as such. We are desperate for more robust counseling services, and the lack of them is incredibly dangerous and upsetting. I love my school and all of the opportunities and experiences it has given me, but for all of the gratitude I feel, I am sad and scared. We need more support than we are being given, and we need it urgently, and until we receive it, it is impossible to feel valued by this institution.

If you would like to respond publicly to this op-ed, send a Letter to the Editor to [email protected]. The views expressed in this piece do not necessarily reflect the views of all staff members of The Daily Northwestern.