Pillow Talk: Stop sleepover stress

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Pillow Talk: Stop sleepover stress

Laken Howard, Columnist

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We’ve all been there: It’s your first sexy sleepover with a new guy (or girl), and you’re panicking. You’re worried he’ll smell your morning breath or you’ll kick her in your sleep or you’ll have bad sex and things will be awkward … The list goes on. I’m here to tell you to relax because it will be OK, I promise. Whether this sleepover is planned or unplanned — as many of mine tend to be — it always helps to be prepared in some small way to put your mind at ease so you can focus on all the amazing sexy things you’re about to indulge in. I’ll tackle a few issues that can arise when you’re crashing somewhere that isn’t your own apartment so you can learn from my mistakes and have a smashing time.

First and foremost, do not forget condoms. Nothing kills the mood faster than a) unsafe sex or b) having to run to a gas station around the block. Similarly, if you’re a girl who takes birth control every night like me, don’t forget your pill pack. I’m never ashamed to pop my pill in front of a guy, but if you’re a little more conservative than me about that sort of thing, you can always take a bathroom break and discreetly take it there.

As I mentioned, most of my sleepovers tend to be unplanned; that is, I go on a good date and end up going home with the guy. Even though there’s not much preparation you can do for this, I like to always bring a bigger purse on dates if I think there’s even the potential for a sleepover. I stock it up with a fresh pair of panties, a toothbrush, deodorant, makeup wipes, perfume and some makeup essentials so the next morning I can commute home without looking or feeling like a dirty zombie. That being said, don’t go crazy. If you pull a Monopoly board out of your purse and claim you “had no idea you’d be staying over,” he or she might run for the hills — and rightfully so. There’s a definite benefit to always being over-prepared, though, and having the right essentials at your disposal will work wonders to keep you from frantically chewing gum in lieu of brushing your teeth.

Another scary aspect of the first sleepover (and my personal worst nightmare): What if he has a twin bed? Call me spoiled, but I can barely sleep in a twin by myself, let alone with another person crammed in next to me. Although it might limit your sex positions on the bed, maybe it will inspire you to get kinky somewhere else, like in the kitchen or the shower. When you’re done doing the nasty, twin beds at the very least make for an optimal cuddling atmosphere. Though it might be preferable to at least have the option of personal space, unfortunately, all you can do is deal with it, since I think it might be a little shocking to announce that you’re spending the night on the floor. If it truly hurts you to your core, all you can do is announce that the next sleepover has a new venue: your place. (Or just spend the whole night having sex and forego sleeping altogether.)

The most nerve-wracking part of the whole experience is usually waking up the next morning. Ladies, don’t do that thing women do in movies where they run to the bathroom to freshen up before their partner wakes up. It’s weird and you’re better off just going au natural. The makeup I mentioned I bring in my bag? I rarely put it to use, and I would only apply it after waking up while my partner and I were both getting ready to leave.

That brings me to my final point: How do you know when is the right time to be on your merry way? The easiest solution is to have something on your schedule (even if it’s made up) that is in the mid-morning that you need to get to. Unless it’s a planned sleepover and you’d talked about getting brunch, it’s best not to hang around too long. Once, a guy left me alone in his apartment after our first night together, and I found it strange and confusing. Try to leave by 10 a.m. so neither your nor your partner’s day is wasted. However, this is totally circumstantial advice; if the vibe is good and you want to spend more time together, don’t run out the door just because I told you to. Bonus tip: I would never turn down morning sex, and I would advise you not to either.

I sincerely hope that your next sleepover is fabulous and stress-free. Don’t panic, and enjoy a night of sex and (hopefully) cuddles. As always, stay safe and stay sexy!

Email: lakenhoward2015@u.northwestern.edu
Twitter: @lakenisahorcrux