Augustus Gloop is a bit of an idol of mine.
Though he failed to win the keys to Mr. Wonka’s chocolate factory, Sir Gloop’s unbridled devotion to all things candy appeals to me on a deep — some would even say spiritual — level. You see I, like Augustus, cannot be held accountable for my actions when chocolate is at stake. And because of this drive, I attempted arguably the most ludicrous Pinterest project to ever grace the interweb: chocolate bowls.
Now, I am a total sucker for food placed in bowls made out of other food. For instance, whenever I’m at Panera Bread, my mind is like, “No, just go for the soup with a side of an apple because that’s healthy,” but my stomach is like, “No, pick the bread bowl with the side of bread because you just had a really tough day watching six hours of ‘The Real Housewives,’ so you earned a treat.”
My stomach always wins.
Plus, this behavior can be rationalized by examining the ecological benefits of the bread bowl: Fewer dishes to clean means less water is wasted. Really, I’m just a green humanitarian. I order food inside of food because I love America (maybe that’s a slight exaggeration).
With this in mind, I was intrigued when I stumbled across a pin describing how to easily make bowls out of chocolate using just a balloon. The instructions detailed the process of melting chocolate, dipping balloons in the chocolate and then waiting for the chocolate to settle before deflating and removing the balloons.
This all seemed pretty simple to my Augustus Gloop, food bowl-obsessed brain. The process began successfully as I was able to coat the balloons in melted chocolate efficiently. Then began the process of waiting for the candy coating to set and become hard enough to stand on its own without the balloon’s support. I waited around an hour and then made a small incision in the top of each balloon to deflate it.
From the directions, I anticipated the balloon deflating and separating from the chocolate all in one motion. This most certainly did not happen, and instead of perfect chocolate bowls, I was left with collapsed balloons covered in somewhat solid chocolate.
This pin probably should have a label that says “don’t try this at home” because I failed about as badly as that one time Ashlee Simpson was caught lip syncing on “Saturday Night Live” (lol #tbt to when she was famous … RIP Ashlee Simpson’s singing career). The worst part, though, was that the chocolate I used ended up tasting like balloon, so even if the bowls had formed correctly, I don’t imagine they would have been particularly delectable.
I guess I’ll just leave the chocolate masterpieces to Willy Wonka and will remain a humble, yet satisfied, Augustus Gloop-like consumer.
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