A wise man once said, “Without foreplay, there is seldom great sex.”

OK, so maybe I fabricated that quote (sorry, Medill training), but its principle is nonetheless very accurate. Except in the case of the occasional quickie, there is never a time I would turn down a good old-fashioned foreplay session. And what’s the best kind of foreplay? Oral.

Although I realize oral sex is not universally enjoyed by either guys or girls, I think its power to provide a deeply satisfying sexual experience cannot be stressed enough. I am one of the seemingly rare few who genuinely enjoys both giving and receiving oral. Whether you love it or hate it, I encourage you to be open-minded when it comes to mouth-play and its ability to get you or your partner off. Don’t let one bad experience turn you off from oral forever. I know there’s someone out there that can please you with their mouth; it just may take a bit of searching. (I found mine last week, for example.) Likewise, practice makes perfect — don’t be insecure about your ability to perform oral. Simply be confident, and the rest will, ahem, come with time.

I can’t speak for every girl out there, but I’ve had both insanely good and cringe-worthy bad experiences while receiving oral sex from guys. Because every vagina is unique and beautiful in its own way, there’s no “correct” way to go down on a girl. As with anything sexual, the only way to do a good job is to openly communicate with your partner so he or she knows what works for you and what doesn’t. Maybe she likes intense pressure on her clitoris during oral (*raises hand*), or maybe she likes soft, slow circles with the tongue. Either way, you’ll never know unless you try different tactics until you find what works.

The same obviously goes for penises, too. I don’t have a penis, so I can’t say with any certainty what feels good, but I do know that, again, communication is key in pleasing your partner. Fun fact: I hadn’t given head until after freshman year of college, and the first time I did, I did it again about an hour later to someone else (oops). I won’t lie and say there’s something magical about attempting to sexily fit a foreign object into my throat; rather, my pleasure in giving comes from knowing I’m making my partner feel good. Sure, that applies to most things sexual, but oral can be especially personal, so knowing you’re doing a good job is extra exciting.

A side note about going down on guys: The spit/swallow debate that has been raging since probably the dawn of time is indeed a tricky subject. Although personally I see no reason to spit it out once its already in your mouth, don’t be discouraged by that whole “spitters are quitters” mantra. Whether you actually like the taste or merely do it as a courtesy, swallowing, I’ve found, is much appreciated by guys. If you don’t want it in your mouth at all and would prefer him to finish elsewhere, don’t be embarrassed by that either. Remember to be clear about what you like and dislike to truly have a great sexual experience.

I’m sure I could continue to talk about oral for a while, but I should really wrap it up. As always, remember to stay safe when engaging in any sort of sexual activity! There are free condoms on the second floor of Searle, so there’s no excuse not to use one (or a few).

Until next time, keep it sexy, y’all.

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Twitter: @lakenisahorcrux